


Underneath the Moon

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (mild), Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bottom Louis, Famous Harry, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Insecure Louis, Jealous Harry, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Mutual Pining, Non-Famous Louis, Pining Louis, Top Harry, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:50:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5377583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.</p><p>(Or, Louis and Harry are best friends until Louis goes to London while Harry tours Europe. It was going as planned until they unintentionally messed everything up, but it might be for the best.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Of all the things that have happened over the course of Louis’s life, Louis would have to say that leaving uni was the most bittersweet. If it were purely based on the academic side of things, it would be pure bliss. He didn’t hate his classes, but the passion that he had for them when he was a freshman had changed since then. He would become a teacher only because that’s what he paid to be, not because it was what he really wanted. He cared about his (future) students and being able to help them make music, but it seemed so different now than when he had first started. Harry would try to cheer him up by saying that he wanted to be a teacher since he was eleven years old. Louis couldn’t help but feel that it was a bit pointless, especially seeing Harry get to live his dream while Louis slowly lost his.

The bitter part was leaving Harry. He didn’t want to think of Harry sitting alone at the Starbucks they went to every Sunday. He didn’t want Harry to stop being a part of his life just because they were being forced to go their separate ways. He didn’t want Harry to be lonely, even though he knew that Harry had dozens of other people to hang out with. Louis did, too, but it was different when he was with Harry.

At least Harry would be able to keep writing for his next album since his second one had done well. The company that signed him had taken a big chance when doing so, and it was paying off. Harry was meant to be in the light of fame. He had that sex appeal and was able to captivate anyone who came in his presence in ways Louis would never be able to. Harry was goofy and amazing and everyone in the world deserved to see him and fall in love. Harry was able to capture people’s attention like no one else. Louis wanted nothing more than to show him off to the whole world. Louis supposed that he was selfish for wanting to keep Harry close. He had to remember the little people, Louis had always joked. Harry wasn’t one to let fame go to his head, but Louis couldn’t help having his doubts.

There was the part of him that wanted to stay at uni. He was scared to go all the way to London for a new job, a new flat, while being totally alone. Harry would be busy studying and writing for his next album, and his mum would be busy with his other siblings or her work. He just had to tell himself that everything would be okay. He and Harry would stay in touch, and he could call his mum every weekend.

Louis finally stepped back to admire his handiwork. His suitcase was filled with clothes, books, and a couple of other boxes with various knickknacks. A set of clothes for the next day was set aside, as well as a blanket and pillow on the couch. His mum told him that she would be picking him up no earlier than ten o’clock to leave just enough time to get back before lunch. Louis wanted to spend as much time with Harry as possible before he spent the rest of his summer with his family and Harry returned to Holmes Chapel.

They talked about all their upcoming plans for the future, even if they were just far off dreams in Harry’s mind. He talked about being in a different city every week playing for a new crowd of people. Sharing his music with whoever would take a minute to listen, and share his love for it with his fans. It was still a foreign concept to Louis – Harry having his own group of fans that would listen to his music that he spent so much time on. People genuinely liked something that Harry cared for, that Louis cared for. That was how Louis and Harry started talking in the first place, about their love for music.

Louis didn’t know what he wanted. Harry knew exactly how his life would go, having his perfect career and family. Louis wanted all those things too; he just didn’t know how to get there. In all honesty, he just wanted to be happy. He pictured being passionate and loving his work, coming home to his family. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be his. If he could just stop picturing Harry being beside him in all those very non-platonic ways, he thought his life would be easier.

Louis heard a muffled knock coming from the door, followed with an “Open up, Louis!” from Harry on the other side. Louis rushed over to the door to unlock it and saw Harry standing with the widest grin he had ever seen on him. Louis smiled back instinctively. If Harry was happy it had to be good news.

“I got a tour offer, Lou!” Harry exclaimed. Louis didn’t know what he had expected, and didn’t have an answer either.

“A tour offer? You’re actually going on tour?” Louis asked, trying to process the information.

“Once I sign the papers tomorrow, yeah. It’s only for a month to tour Europe and they’ve given me a couple of breaks in there as well. I mean, God, Lou! This is my dream! They’ve already signed on for another whole new album and now they want me to travel the world and play my music!” He brought his arms around Louis’s shoulders and Louis squeezed his arms around Harry’s waist. Harry was on top of the world. There was no reason for him not to be, because he was right. Harry was going to get his dream of being in a different city every night. His dream of sharing his music with the world.

It was weird for Louis. For the first time, he realized that this is what was coming all along. He still never expected it in a million years, for something that major to change his and Harry's life. Louis would be in London with a job he didn’t want. Harry would be in stadiums in front of screaming crowds. The second he had met Harry, he knew that Harry was going to make it in the music industry. Harry was just the type of person that had all their dreams come true. Both of them were starting this new journey. As much as Louis wanted to be with Harry forever, it wasn’t realistic. He and Harry were going to be on two different levels in the coming years. Harry was going to make new famous friends and win awards and play his ballads at royal weddings. Harry was going to have the world at his fingertips.

Louis was going to stay in London to be a fucking music teacher. In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.

“That’s amazing, Harry. This is what you’ve worked so hard on for your entire life. You’re going to be so wonderful,” Louis whispered. He could’ve sworn that Harry’s green eyes were literally sparkling with happiness. Louis wanted to kiss him so fucking badly. “I actually, umm, have something to discuss with you,” Louis continued.

Harry’s smile dropped. “Oh? Is it bad?”

Louis tried to smile at him, but he knew it had to look awkward and forced. “Depends on how you look at it. Now that I’m leaving uni and you’re going to be on tour and be the most famous superstar to ever exist--”

“I’ll be back to studying before you know it, and I’ll call you every night like we planned before. This is only a good thing, yeah? I mean, it’s not even a world tour.”

“Shut up. You’ll get there sooner than you can even believe, because you’re meant to do this. I’m going to London to be a mediocre music teacher and you’re going to be playing for crowds every night. You know that I am always going to love you, and you will always be my best friend. No matter what happens. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if we end up… separating.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“C’mon, Harry, you can’t expect to call me every weekend and have our friendship stay the same. We’re barely going to see each other in the next year, if at all. We’re both going to be busy and our lives are changing completely.”

“I would try. Every break I have I can see you. Doncaster is only an hour and a half away; I would drive triple that just to see you for a few hours. This isn’t just for me, Louis. It’s for me and my family and you and my fans. Everything is turning out just like we meant it to. Having you leave tomorrow is going to be hard enough, don’t do this to me right now.”

“All I’m saying is that you don’t have to call me. You don’t owe me or have an obligation. I never expected you to. I want you to go out and have fun and get drunk, but I also want you to relax and write every beautiful song that you can think of and stay safe. You can’t have expected us to be friends forever in a situation like this."

“Why the fuck not?” Louis didn’t have an answer to the question. He had known that Harry would protest from the beginning. Harry was naïve and thought everything would end up working out. Maybe it did in his world. This was just as hard for Harry as it was Louis, though. Their friendship was the best thing for them in uni, but now they were going to be adults. Adults with jobs and lives. Louis didn’t want to get heartbroken when the calls from Harry stopped because of his busy schedule. Harry couldn’t have wanted to just drop his best friend or feel guilty because he didn’t have time for him anymore either. This was to keep both of them from getting hurt. “Louis,” Harry started again, “If this because of the… that one night? A month and a half ago?”

That night. Both of them were drunk as hell and there was no way Louis was going to turn down Harry offering to give him head. It might have turned into fucking, but Louis would forever blame it on the alcohol. Not because he was never able to tell Harry no, especially when every part of him screamed to say yes. Not because the pleasure that he felt when they were kissing was nothing compared to when Harry finally put his pretty pink mouth on Louis. Or when Harry slipped his fingers into Louis and he already felt like he could die from the pleasure. They had fucked, and Louis couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He wasn’t going to regret being the closest to Harry he had ever been, physically. When they woke up he told Harry it was very much a one-time thing that was never to be repeated. Louis would never forgive himself if he was the one to hold Harry back.

“Why would you think that?” Louis asked.

“Because I feel like things have been a little strained since then. I told you that I was so completely sorry that night, and you know I would have stopped if you hadn’t said yes. We were both wasted, Louis. I don’t want that one mistake to ruin the best friendship I’ve ever had. I don’t know why you’re like this all the sudden.”

“Harry… I just think that this is what’s best for both of us, to have a fresh start.”

“By losing all contact with each other? That makes no sense. This is bullshit, Louis. Is this what you want, really? Or just what you think is best?”

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat. Harry couldn’t possibly think that he wanted for both of them to separate. He was only preparing for the inevitable. Louis knew there would be no way Harry would ever be able to see that. He hated lying to Harry, but this was for the best. It’s so Harry can become the celebrity he’s always dreamed of being. It was for Harry.

“It’s what I want.”

Louis instantly regretted his choice when he saw Harry’s once happy face go blank. Louis never wanted to see Harry looking like that, especially if he was the reason. Harry deserved all the happiness in the world, but it didn’t seem that it was what the world wanted. Harry nodded a few times.

“Okay. If that’s what you want, I’ll… I’ll stay away. I’m so, so sorry for whatever I did to cause this, alright? I’m going to miss you so much.” Harry looked lost. He gave a small smile to Louis and walked out of the dorm.

Shit. Fuck. Why couldn’t Louis do anything right? Now he’s broken Harry’s heart when that was his last intention. He wanted to go run to him and tell him that he would miss him and that he would never stop loving him. That this isn’t what he wants, but he’s too scared to let their friendship fall apart one day and lose Harry forever. This was closure. Closure for Harry to leave his life and for Louis to learn how to get his shit together. He would have all summer to mope and complain to his mum that he lost his best friend. There’s nothing in the world that could’ve stopped this from happening.

Louis went out to get a small dinner at a diner. He tried not to notice the uncomfortable silence that was usually filled with Harry’s laughter and Louis making a weak joke.

He went home to turn on his laptop and forget about Harry as best he could. Louis took off his jeans and packed them away, cuddling down into the couch with a blanket and Netflix playing. It was a good enough distraction for him to forget that he completely ruined his friendship with Harry. He didn’t know how long his “for the best” excuse would work. In reality, he was just scared. Harry had changed his entire world. He loved all his friends, but the way he loved Harry was different. He was in love with him. In his eyes, Harry had hung the moon and the stars. He loved him so much and he couldn’t take the heartbreak of never being able to have him, especially after they had slept together. To know what Harry was like as a person was much more than enough to fall for him, but to know what he was like in bed was extraordinary.

It was all over now. He made a decision to keep himself from getting hurt. He might regret it now but he wouldn’t regret it later. At least, he hoped so. Just because it was difficult to imagine meeting someone now and looking at them and wanting them like he did Harry didn’t mean it was impossible. It would take time. Time heals all wounds, right?

Louis fell asleep on the couch, thankful that he set his alarm the day before. He awoke with his alarm and turned it off, seeing the text from his mother that she had left and would be there in about an hour. Breakfast consisted of wishing Harry was still there and eating cereal while checking his phone. Harry had tweeted about his tour becoming official with dates to come. It already had 8,000 favorites and retweets. Louis smiled, because this is why things had to happen the way that they did. Harry had just announced his tour and people were already excited for it. Louis knew that Harry would only gain fame. Everything was falling into place for Harry, and Louis couldn't have been more elated.

He got ready for the day and finished packing up the rest of his stuff. His mother showed up with the vehicle and they were on the road back to Doncaster at 11 o’clock. Being able to see his mum again made him feel better, even though they always skyped and chatted during the week. They talked about their plans for the rest of the summer, how all his siblings were doing, and finally Harry. If there was one person who loved Harry more than Louis, it had to be Jay. Harry had only come over a couple of times since he and Louis had met. Jay had to make everything perfect for the one friend of Louis’s that she didn’t see anything wrong with. Not that she disliked his other friends; she just liked Harry quite a bit more. Louis couldn’t blame her. Harry insisted that Anne was the same way with Louis when he came over, but Louis just thought she was being motherly. He can’t have been the best friend Harry’s had over.

“How’s Harry been doing lately? You haven’t talked about him, which is pretty unusual for you.”

“He’s fine. And we kind of… broke it off. So there’s a good chance you won’t be hearing about him at all anymore.”

“Broke it off? Why the hell would you do that?”

"He’s going on tour, mum. I don’t want him to have to worry about having to call me every weekend just to check in. We won’t be seeing each other for months between our careers and Harry still going to school. Our lives are completely changing. He’s going off to be a superstar and I’m going to London. This would happen eventually.”

“How do you know that? You could’ve at least tried. You and Harry have always had something very special, dear.”

“I know. I want to be there for him, but I also don’t want to hold him back.”

“I don’t think you would, if it's even possible. But if that’s what you think, then you know I’m always here for you. I know how these break ups and things go.”

“Thanks, but I just need a little time to myself.”

“Of course, dear. Whatever you need.”

Louis changed the subject to the continuous search for a job, which so far had not gone well. Apparently there weren’t many music teachers who wanted to give up their spots. Louis and his mum made it to their house where his sisters greeted him enthusiastically. He spotted Dan feeding the twins in their chairs and smiled at him. At least he had the comfort of home for the time being.  
…

Louis was convinced that the world was against him. He took one week to stay holed up in his old room watching television and playing games on his phone. His job search was going terribly, and he was scared that he wouldn’t be getting a job as a teacher for the year. All the years spent at uni wouldn’t be put to use until later, and he would be stuck with a job that he hated. He doubted that he would enjoy anything, though.

Soon the second and third week passed by in a blink of an eye to Louis’s dismay. He had planned on at least having a location to go to where a job might be available. But things weren’t looking up and at this point it would be a miracle if he got any kind of teaching job whatsoever. He just hoped that he would be able to find something in Doncaster at the very least, even though he didn’t want to stay in the house for another year. He didn’t pay an arm and a leg for uni to not become a real adult in his mind. Even owning a shit flat would be better, having something to call his own.

Louis became ill in the fourth week. He had quite a bit of nausea and some back aches, but still made it as the weeks passed. Harry had called every weekend to talk to Louis, and Louis never answered. He didn’t want to hear what Harry had to say, he knew it would just make him feel worse. He was letting go of one of the best things, one of the most important people, in his life. He didn’t know if he would ever stop loving Harry. For the past years, loving Harry was just part of his life. Seeing his smile every day and wanting to hear all his cheesy jokes were what he always looked forward to. He wanted to bring Harry home with him and see him play with his siblings; see his eyes when he was interacting with the children.

Louis wanted Harry to be happy. Harry deserved happiness because that's all he had brought to Louis, until now. Of course there had been bad days, but Harry was always the one to keep the two of them afloat no matter what. Every time Louis was struggling with an exam or doubting his abilities, Harry was there at four in the morning helping him study or telling him that he was strong and going to pull through. Harry had been his rock. They got the ship and the compass tattoos for a reason. Louis wanted Harry to come back to him, but right now it was best if he lost his way to Louis.

Louis’s phone rang and he groaned. He wasn't going to answer, but at least he would feel less guilty if it wasn't one of his friends.

He was surprised when it showed Zayn’s name on his screen, though. Louis had met Zayn at a concert when he was in high school, and they had talked on occasion. He was nice to talk to, but they didn’t keep up with each other and ended up losing contact until a few years later when Louis met Harry. Harry had invited Louis to come with him to the recording studio when his first album was being produced, and Louis met Harry’s manager Liam. Several of Liam’s music friends had been there to listen to Harry and critique, but Liam’s boyfriend was there as well. Louis had been kind of jealous when he learned that Zayn was dating a multi-millionaire, but at least he was helping Harry. He and Zayn became closer and they talked pretty often now. During the summer Zayn was busy with the art projects he took on and then the start of the school year. Of all the people that could’ve called, he was finally okay with answering someone.

“Hey, mate,” Louis answered.

“Hey. Have you found a job already? Harry told Liam that you’ve had some trouble looking for one, but he also said he hasn’t talked to you in the past month.”

“No, the search has been terrible. You better have good news for me if you’re making me talk about this godawful subject.”

“There’s an opening in London, where I teach. The music teacher suddenly had a major family emergency. I told them that you had good marks and were looking for an opening, and they’ve agreed to interview you if you’d like.”

“Are you serious? That would be great. I don’t know how easily I can find a flat in London that quick if I get the job, though.”

“Well, I could always use a roommate. It’s a pretty nice flat, too, with my parents paying for it and all. If you're up for it I would be okay with sharing.”

“You’re a fucking life saver. When do they want me to come into the interview?” Louis said. He and Zayn sorted out the rest of their plans for Louis to come over the next day since he could pack up at a moment’s notice and told his family about his plans. His family fully supported him, of course, and he went to sleep content with his life for the first time in weeks. 

This was what was best for him and Harry, he was sure of it now. They both needed to separate so they could settle into their new lives. Louis still missed talking to Harry every night and hearing his voice, but he was convinced that it was the best option. He loved Harry and wanted what was best for him. Even so, he ached for Harry to hold him.  
…

The flat was huge. Louis didn’t really know what to expect, he knew Zayn’s parents were rich and had plenty of money to spend on Zayn, plus Zayn had his extra income from his artwork and teaching. Louis still hadn’t expected such a gorgeous flat. Three bedrooms, one and a half baths, and most importantly, a working stove. Zayn had converted one of the bedrooms into an art studio and said that Louis could make some space in the corner to set up a small office. Louis didn’t know how things could possibly be better. The interview was tomorrow, but Zayn was certain that he would do well because of all the good words that Zayn put in for him. His hands still shook a bit at the thought of the interview.

Unpacking was easy even with having some back pain. He slept well and woke up tired but excited to get through with the interview and relax for the rest of the day. He had been preparing for this since he was eleven, and he couldn’t imagine fucking it up now. Even if he wasn’t so sure it was what he really wanted anymore. The only thing he was always sure he would want was Harry.

Zayn would be sleeping for the next few hours, so Louis snuck quietly throughout the flat to get ready. He wasn’t exactly sure what to wear because he hated wearing formal clothes, but settled on some nicer trousers and a button down top. A bit conservative, but Louis was trying to get a job. Harry would probably joke about how hot he looked.

Once he made it to the school he was not feeling the energy he had an hour before, and was praying that his nausea would settle enough. Maybe he could blame it on nerves this time. He got called for his interview right away, watching as a plump bald man left the office looking not-too-happy. A woman with long blonde hair was sitting by a desk and smiled as Louis sat down in the chair opposite of her. “Welcome. Mr. Tomlinson, correct?”

“Yes, that would be me.” They shook hands and the woman continued to look at some papers.

“Well, I’m Ms. Rowland. We’ve already received your resume, thank you for being able to bring it in on such short notice. We’ve been fairly impressed for someone in their first year of teaching. You do seem like our best option right now, and I actually work with the children’s theatre you worked with. I saw your play that you put together, Peter Pan?”

“Yeah, that was tons of fun.”

“It certainly paid off. In all honesty, I could sit here and ask you about your work ethics and all that stuff, but we’re running out of both options and time. It’s very rare for us to take on first years, but we’re willing to take a risk on you. If you want the job you can sign today.”

“Really? That’s it?”

“We're taking a chance, but yes. You have a lot of outstanding qualities take we took notice of. I have the papers right here. But I also have to ask one question regarding your medical history, it’s just law. Since you have the carrier gene we need to ask if you are or are planning to get pregnant in the next year? You can still take the job, we just need to know.”

It’s not like Louis hadn’t expected this question. But a month ago he thought he would’ve been able to answer a certain “no” without a doubt. It wasn’t very likely, but the condom could’ve broken when his one night with Harry occurred. While he didn’t like to think about it, it was a theoretical possibility. He just tried to ignore his ever-constant body aches and nausea.

“No. Definitely not trying to get pregnant either. But, hypothetically, if I was, how would I go about it?”

“You should tell us as soon as you have a plan on what you’re going to do, whether you’re keeping it or whatever else you decide. We give three months of paid paternity leave, and you can either choose to come back or decide to stay with your child. It usually depends on whether the person is married or not, since we’ve been having a lot more unmarried carriers come through each year. We try to make it as easy as possible, though.”

“Of course. Just wondering. I can sign whatever papers you need me to sign?” Ms. Rowland handed over the papers for Louis to sign. She showed him around the school and his classroom, giving him the basic rules and telling him when he could start preparing for the upcoming school year. Louis was beyond grateful for the small miracle that had come to give him this opportunity, but he couldn’t help but feel that he wasn’t the one who deserved it. He couldn’t stop wishing that Harry were there to tell him that everything would work out, because he wasn’t so sure it would this time.

He left the building exhausted but thankful. He stopped by a small little café to have lunch outside in the warmer July air. He sat outside in the bistro-style chairs with his Panini and tea, checking his phone for messages. He had an email confirming that Ms. Rowland had his contact information, a text from Zayn asking how his interview went, and another from his mum asking if he was planning to visit them in Doncaster again in a couple of weeks. No new missed calls from Harry, Louis observed. He wouldn’t have answered it even if there was one.

After cleaning up and replying to everyone, he headed to the flat. Now that his interview was over, he could gladly spend the rest of his day playing video games and trying to not think about his new job or Harry. Or the one thing he was going to ignore until he couldn’t possibly keep up the act.

Louis knew that there was a slight, slight possibility that he was pregnant. He wasn't on any kind of birth control after all, and while he and Harry had used protection it wasn’t foolproof. He just didn’t want to accept that possibility. Of all the terrible things that could happen to him in the next few years, getting pregnant with his now ex-best friend's baby might not be on the top of the list, but it was up there. If he was pregnant, he had no idea what to do. He didn’t know if he would tell Harry.

He was getting ahead of himself. He probably wasn’t even pregnant, maybe just had some weird virus. He could ask his mum about it when he visited her in the next week. She would be able to help him out. He shouldn’t try to panic when he had no idea if there was anything to panic about. He just needed to relax, eat some pizza, and work on getting everything set up for the new school year. He should be 100 percent focused on that anyway. Not Harry or whatever, but his new job. This was his first year teaching; this was what he had studied for. He needed to work and become the best damn music teacher any school could ask for. That was practically the whole reason why he and Harry needed to split up anyway. To be able to focus on their careers, the thing that they were truly passionate about. For Harry at least.

After entering, Louis saw Zayn lounging on the sofa looking on his phone. Considering the stupid smile on his face, he was probably talking to Liam. Louis hated them. 

Zayn looked up from his phone and smiled at Louis. “You got the job! Congrats!”

“Yeah. Easiest interview I’ve ever had. A little too easy if you ask me.”

“Ahh, they’ll do anything if I say so. Liam always makes donations to the arts program and it’s never done better thanks to him. You better do well though, if you do badly they’ll go blaming it on me,” Zayn kidded.

“Are you saying you’re ungrateful for this job?”

“Not at all. Something about it just feels… off. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Well, it will probably pass. Soon enough you'll be content with that fact you’re teaching a bunch of teenagers’ who will make double the money you make in ten years’ time.”

“Says the person who’s practically married to a multi-millionaire,” said Louis.

Zayn narrowed his eyes at him. “Excuse you. Number one, Liam and I are nowhere close to married. Number two, Liam inherited most of the money from his parents. He just so happens to be going into the same business.”

“Hmm, whatever you say. You keep talking to your husband; I’ve got a date with the couch and FIFA.” Louis bid Zayn goodbye and spent the rest of his night in lonely solitude, accompanied only by pixelated characters. He hadn’t gone to a party since he had graduated, and while he didn’t need one, it would have been fun to just get drunk and let his worries go for a night. He couldn’t be wholly responsible yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis was confirmed as Linwood School’s new music teacher, and easily moved into his classroom. The rest of his week was spent making a few lesson plans in advance and asking Zayn about some of the students he would have. Harry hadn’t called Louis since the week Louis had moved to London.

Soon enough the weekend was there and Louis was able to take a bus back to Doncaster, having his last break before the start of the upcoming school year. He had to confront the facts whether he liked it or not. He didn’t want to be alone if he found out he was pregnant, and this was a time when he just wanted his mum. It had always been in his mind, but he kept pushing it to the back until he had to do something. If he was expecting he then would go from there.

He was dropped off at his stop and walked the rest of the way home. His mum’s smile was a bright as ever as he came in, just in time to help her make dinner. She greeted him with a hug and kiss. He rolled up his sleeves and started to prepare the vegetables, all while talking to Jay about his new job and her work schedule for the rest of the year.

“Something’s been off about you lately, darling,” Jay said. Louis knew that his mother would suspect something was up, but he didn’t think she would bring it up so soon. Now was as good a time as any to tell her what he came for since they were alone.

“I might have a little… situation,” he explained. He continued to wash some potatoes to avoid eye contact with his mother, but he knew that she was looking at him with concern. It always ended up there.

“Oh, dear. Promise me it’s not too serious.”

“It’s not too serious if it turns out to be false.” His mum looked exasperated, but he continued on. “I think I might be pregnant, but I’m not sure.”

“Louis, what have you been doing in London?! You didn’t mention a boyfriend, or even meeting someone. And I didn’t think you’d be the one to go hook up with random people in bars. Do you know whose it is, Louis? If you don’t --”

“No, I know who’s it is, Mum.”

“Then who?”

Louis took a deep breath. “Harry, Mum,” he exhaled. He turned around to look at Jay. His mother didn’t look as surprised as he thought she would, like she had expected for him to be possibly knocked up with his ex-best friend’s child.

“Oh,” she paused. “So you don’t know for sure if you’re pregnant though? You haven’t taken a test of some sort?”

“No. I’ve kind of been ignoring it until now. Busy with work,” he lied.

“Well, I’ll pick up some tests at the store tonight and we can go from there, yeah? Don’t tell your sisters or Dan anything yet, but we can call up Harry if the tests turn out positive.”

“I don’t want Harry to know. It’ll mess everything up, and it’s better for only one person’s life to be dramatically altered than two. We haven’t even spoken for two months, I doubt he’ll want to hear that I’m pregnant with his kid.”

“Harry would want to know, Lou. If he found out you were pregnant with his child and he wasn’t even given the chance to be there for you he would go mad," Jay said. Louis stayed silent, and Jay sighed, knowing that she should let the subject go before anything more happened. "How far along are you?” She continued.

“About four and a half months, I think. Haven’t been drinking just to be safe.”

“Alright. We’ll just keep this quiet for now and I’ll get the tests as quick as I can. Things will be fine,” Jay assured him.

After the whole family ate dinner and joked around, Jay left for the pharmacy to go buy a test. Louis tried to keep calm, but every seconds that went by was nerve-wracking. He knew that, even though she didn't say it, Jay had to have some kind of disappointment in him. After all, her first born son was likely pregnant with a baby to a person he wasn't even in a relationship with, much less married to.

Jay finally came back with a few different ones for Louis to try. He went to the bathroom and took them, flipping them over on the bathroom counter so he couldn’t see the results. He set a timer on his phone for five minutes, just to be safe that the test wouldn’t mess up. The five minutes that needed to pass were possibly the most agonizing of his life. All he did was stare at the seconds ticking down. He tried not the think about what was next, or the fact that he already knew the tests were going to turn out positive.

The five minutes were up, leaving Louis no other choice but to actually look at the damn tests. He flipped them over one by one, each having a tiny  _pregnant_ symbol on the screen.

He knew that it was going to happen, but his heart still dropped into his stomach when he saw them. This was real now. There was no way he could ever avoid this. Now he was certain that he, Louis Tomlinson, was pregnant with Harry Styles’ child. Their baby was growing inside of him.

Holy shit. What the hell was he going to do? The father of his baby was flying all across Europe raking in shit tons of money, and Louis was stuck in London with a job he wasn’t sure he even wanted.

His mother knocked on the door and he told her to come in.

“They’re all positive,” he said not looking at her as she came in.

“Okay. It’s going to be okay, you’re so strong. You’re going to make it through this. I just… do you think you’re getting an abortion?”

“It’s a little late now. It was never an option for me anyway.”

“Alright. You’re going to have to tell Harry eventually.”

“Mum….”

“Louis, you can’t seriously be thinking of not telling him. Harry was, and still is, your best friend. I know you miss him. Harry loves you.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Besides, it’s not fair to him. I basically tell him to fuck off but then tell him I’m pregnant with his kid?”

“He would understand. You’re so lucky. You have someone that would be there to support you.”

Louis winced. “I know. Things are just… complicated right now. I need to clear my head. I know I said I would stay tomorrow but I think I’m going to go back to the flat tomorrow morning.”

“Louis, that’s not what I meant. I think we should talk about what you’re going to do.”

“I have no idea. That’s the whole problem. I love you, and I’ll call you when I get back to London.” Louis didn’t want to stay and see the look on his mother’s face, so he slid past her and went into his old bedroom. He got on his phone to check when the earliest bus left and set his alarm, then slid out of his clothes and cuddled into the sheets. He promised himself that he would have plenty of time to think about things the next day, and was lulled to sleep.

…

Louis left early the next morning after eating breakfast, and drowned out his thoughts with music on the bus. He got to his flat and opened the door, peeking in to see if Zayn was there. He didn’t seem to be in the living room if he was in the flat at all. Louis kicked off his shoes and headed into his bedroom, ready to mope and maybe actually decide what the hell he was going to do. He turned on the television as background noise, but he still had to think about his plans.

It still felt surreal. To think that he was actually going to have Harry’s baby in the next few months was crazy. But he saw the positives on those tests, and he knew that there had been something off since summer had begun. It couldn’t be changed.

He just wanted what was best for his child. His heart hurt when the thought of giving their baby up occurred, but maybe that was for the best. He didn’t want his child to have a life where they barely saw the only father in their life that was there for them, since Louis would have to keep working if he wanted to support him and his child. Admittedly, he could tell Harry about the pregnancy and ask for child support, but that would be his absolute last option. After all, Harry’s public image would be tarnished if people learned that he had a baby with one of the little people he knew before fame.

He wanted Harry to be happy and to follow his dream. He couldn’t possibly do that if he knew that he was going to have a kid. Louis knew Harry would drop everything so he could be with Louis, and that was the last thing he wanted. One of his favorite things about Harry was how much he cared about people, his family and friends, but Harry needed to put himself first sometimes. Even though having a baby and becoming a celebrity were both big deals, Louis could handle a baby alone. Louis couldn’t help Harry become the musician he’d always wanted to be. That was the whole reason he and Harry had to break their connection in the first place. Louis couldn’t let his child ruin it.

Louis sighed. Making a decision like this wasn’t made in a day, he thought. Louis should just let it sink in and try to relax. He was exhausted from his trip and thinking, and fell asleep easily.

He woke up to find a text from Zayn that he was staying over at Liam’s for the weekend, but would be back in the morning. Louis ordered in some food and stayed on the couch watching television for the next couple of hours. It was times like this when he wished he had more than three good friends. Well, two, if he isn’t counting Harry anymore.

Louis’s phone buzzed with a message on the table beside him, and he picked it up to find Harry’s name on the bright screen.

             _I miss you so damn much Lou._

Another message came through. Louis wanted to turn off his phone and ignore Harry, but he couldn’t find the strength. Even seeing a nice text from Harry made him feel both overwhelming love and misery.

             _I know you want us to stop talking, so I’m sorry but I just miss you_

_I didn’t think I’d be doing my first tour without my best friend by my side and it sucks_

_It feels weird not seeing your face in the audience_

_Do you remember the first time I ever performed at uni? If you hadn’t been there I think I might’ve passed out_

_I don’t know what I did to upset you, but I wish I could go back and change whatever it was_

_I’m kind of drunk right now if you couldn’t tell_

_I heard you got a job in London, I know that you’re going to do amazing. You’re amazing_

_I don’t expect you to answer these; hopefully I’m not making you uncomfortable. I’m so going to regret this in the morning. I’m so sorry._

Louis waited to see any other messages, but no more came. Louis plugged in his phone for the night and waited just a while longer to see the screen light up just once more. Should he even be allowed to be disappointed? He wasn’t going to answer the messages. He missed having Harry texting him a simple good morning or good night. He missed Harry. He wanted so badly to send a reply but he knew he would never be able to stop if Harry texted him back. He didn’t even know what to say. If he started to talk to Harry again there would be no way that he could keep hiding his pregnancy. If there was one thing he was certain on, it was that Harry had to be kept in the dark. Eventually Louis would be just a passing memory to Harry, a friend he once had but lost contact with. They could continue their lives in the way that they were meant to.

The pain would still be there for a while. The ache of missing his best friend and the person that he was in love with, now the father of his child. Maybe it would be like having a ghost limb, knowing and accepting that it was gone but still able to sometimes feel its presence. All he wanted was for Harry to hold him.

Louis fell asleep trying to block all his thoughts from his mind, still feeling wetness against his cheeks. His sleep was light, but at least he didn’t wake up during the night. He woke up with his alarm clock, starting his Monday. Most teachers would be setting up their classroom and preparing, but Louis had already gotten that out of the way. He felt that he deserved a couple of days off to take a break and try to sort his thoughts.

He went to the kitchen to find Zayn unloading groceries in the fridge. Zayn handed Louis the breakfast he had gotten him. He tried not to show that anything was off, even though he had cried for what felt like hours after Harry had texted him. Hopefully Zayn wouldn’t question it since Louis wasn’t in the mood to deal with anything.

Louis sat down at the kitchen table and began to eat his pancakes and check his emails. Louis eventually relaxed, since he felt that he was calmer than Zayn was.

“What’s got you so tense? Was the sex not good last night?” Louis joked, as Zayn finally finished and sat down across from Louis.

“As always, the sex was fantastic, thank you for asking. It’s not my fault you haven’t gotten laid in months. And this isn’t about me; it’s about why you totally walked out on Harry. Liam said Harry went out and got completely smashed last night because he missed you, or some bullshit. What’s up with that?” Zayn asked. His jaw was clenched as he turned around to look at Louis. Fuck. If Zayn was this pissed off his day was not going to be good.

“We just kind of… separated. It’s for the best, really. Harry’s going off to be some huge A-lister and I didn’t want him to be held back by something in his past. He’s going on to bigger and better things,” Louis explained weakly. Harry was probably never going to be an A-lister by any means, but it backed up his argument better.

“So just because he’s going on a European tour you don’t want to be friends anymore?”

“Well, when you put it like that it makes me look like an asshole.”

“I don’t know if there’s a way you could put it without making you sound like an asshole.”

“I did it for good reasons. In a few years we’ll both be thankful that we did this.”

“Fine. I’m too tired to disagree with you at the moment. You have to listen to what I tell you though, and don’t be mad.”

“I can’t say I’m not going to be mad if I’m probably going to be mad,” Louis said. Whatever was coming next would not be good.

Zayn paused, and then said, “Harry’s moving to London.”

Oh. That wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Jay could’ve possibly told Harry about Louis’s pregnancy, or Zayn could be kicking him out, or someone could’ve died. Harry was going on tour; he wouldn’t be spending that much time in his permanent flat for at least a month. Louis rarely saw people out in London that he knew unless he had specific plans with them.

“Alright. Anything else you want to tell me?”

“Liam said that he would get him one of the fancier apartments in our building. He’s going to be living on the floor below us.” Ahh. That was definitely more of a problem. London was a big city and Louis could’ve easily avoided Harry if he tried. Living in the same building, however, was much more difficult. He had met his neighbors one way or another with them passing by in the lift or just going by. Meeting strangers had been fine, but having the chance of seeing someone you were trying to forget about was not one of Louis’s top things to do.

“Does he know that I’m living with you?”

“Liam only told him that you have a job for Linwood in London, but I don’t think he knows exactly where you live. He has to know you’re not exactly too far off.”

“Couldn’t Liam get him to move to literally any other building? Why the hell does he have to pick ours?”

“Liam said it was the best option, and he knows that I live here in case anything happens so I can easily get to his flat. I’ll try to keep you out of each other’s ways as much as possible, but there’s a point that I can’t do anything. Liam thinks that you should talk to him anyway.”

“Of course he does. He’s also the most optimistic person in the world who probably thinks me and Harry’s friendship could be solved with a few apologies and hugs,” Louis insisted.

“No, you’re just being pessimistic. Give it a few years and you’ll never see him again. Isn’t that what you want? What’s the worst that could possibly happen if you did bump into each other? It would be awkward, but it would go over eventually.”

“I just don’t want to see him, Zayn. It hurts enough thinking about it.”

“I’ll try my best. Are you sure there’s not something else?”

Louis winced. “Positive.”

…

With the school year beginning in less than a week, Louis scheduled an appointment to check on the baby’s growth. In the meantime, he buried himself in work to avoid making any decisions and set out on breaking the world record for number of hours procrastinated. Zayn went MIA for the time being, but every time he came home for a couple of minutes all he did was look at Louis suspiciously. Louis knew Zayn thought there was something going on besides him “just not wanting to see Harry,” but Louis didn’t know if he was ready to tell anyone besides his mum. He knew his mother only wanted the best for him and her future grandchild, but he just wished one person understood why he couldn’t tell Harry about his pregnancy.

Harry had sent a couple of texts since his last drunken confessions, this time more sober.

_I’m moving to London. It wasn’t really my choice. But Zayn’s in the same building._

_It feels weird that we haven’t talked in two months._

_Have I said weird too much recently?_

_I wish I knew what I did wrong._

Louis wished he could tell Harry he did nothing wrong, he was doing everything right. It was all Louis’s fault because he was a coward who would rather cut ties with someone than have the chance of being rejected. He didn’t want good things to end, so he took matters into his own hands.

He ignored the messages. He talked to his mum for an hour, telling her that Harry was moving to London and that he had an appointment in the next week. She seemed happy enough, even though Louis knew she wanted to let Harry know about the pregnancy.

The next few days flew by with spending time in the classroom, watching television, and reading up on his pregnancy. The least he could do was be educated. He read up on how big the baby was at this point in his pregnancy and what to eat. He felt bad that he hadn’t been eating the healthiest and he didn’t have any vitamins either, but at least he hadn’t been drinking. He hadn’t even suspected he was pregnant until his first trimester was already over.

Louis knew that when it came down to it, he was going to keep the baby. There was a part of him that hated the decision, but it wasn’t going to change. Ever since he was little he wanted to be a parent. While it wasn’t the most opportune time whatsoever, he had faith that he would make it work. It might not be easy, but he had help from his family and friends. He didn’t know how Harry would never find out though. Someone would surely mention it in passing that Louis had a child, and Harry would probably question it. For now, Louis could only hope for the best.

He was going to have a baby. He was going to raise and love a child of his own, of Harry’s. He had dreamed about this in the future, albeit under very different circumstances, but that was okay. Things would work out like they always did.

He would have to tell people, though. The rest of his family and Zayn and the school. He would have to plan ahead, get a new (much cheaper) flat, figure out his paternity leave and when he would be staying in Doncaster, and make sure Harry never found out that he was pregnant. Louis had once loved meeting people through Harry, but they were too interconnected now. Zayn would have to tell Liam, and Liam would alert Harry of Louis’s situation. Louis knew Harry was trying to keep his distance to make Louis comfortable, but he would barge in if he thought Louis was pregnant with his child.

First steps first. Louis sat down and wrote a quick and to-the-point email to Ms. Rowland. He said that he was sorry for the inconvenience, but he had recently found out he was in fact pregnant and would be needing paternity leave by the start of the second semester. One item already off his list, next to go.

He needed to tell Zayn and get whatever problems that came with it out of the way. He knew Zayn would be home in about an hour, and he cooked a simple meal and texted Zayn that dinner was ready when he was home. He wanted to be as prepared as possible, since he knew Zayn was already angry because he was avoiding Harry. He doubted the knowledge that he was carrying Harry’s child and keeping it a secret would ease him any.

There was the possibility that Zayn would say the stakes were too high and tell Harry that Louis was pregnant. Louis trusted Zayn with his life, but this was a baby that involved another good friend of his. At this point, all he could do was hope that Zayn would respect his wishes and nothing would go too awry.

Zayn opened the door to the flat and came into the kitchen, where Louis’s taco bar was spread out neatly.

“What the hell is this about, Louis?” Zayn asked, suspicious.

“Can I not make one of my best mates a meal? You’ve had a long day at work, after all.”

“You’re usually making pasta, or sandwiches, or… other stuff. You’re either avoiding work entirely or burying yourself in it. I don’t know whether it has to do with Harry, or something else, but you need to confront whatever it is.”

“Fine. Do you really want to know?”

“Yes. That’s kind of the whole point of this, isn’t it?”

Louis paused. It had to happen sometime, but he wished he was more comfortable with the information himself. “I’m pregnant,” he said, averting Zayn’s gaze.

Zayn stared at him for a good minute before he said, “Are you serious? Don’t joke about something like that, Lou.”

“I’m not joking, for God’s sake Zayn. I am approximately four and a half months pregnant and I’ve decided to keep it.”

“Do you even know who the father is? Have you been bringing people back when I’m at Liam’s? Not that it’s a problem. I just would rather you tell me--”

“Zayn, you have to promise me not to freak out and to listen to me.”

Zayn took a deep breath. “Okay, fine, go on then.”

“It’s Harry’s.”

Zayn took another moment to stare at Louis, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What the fuck?”

“So, to answer your question, I have not been bringing people back to the flat to fuck.”

“I can’t fucking believe you’re pregnant with Harry’s kid?! When the hell did you two make a baby anyway?! You’ve always been so adamant that Harry is just a friend. I know you don’t see him that way, and now you’ve gotten knocked up by him? You can be really hard to figure out sometimes,” Zayn exclaimed.

“It was just a one-time thing. We agreed not to mention it if possible, and Harry thinks that part of the reason I stopped talking to him is because we slept together. Which isn’t true at all. I mean, it’s partly true, but only because of the consequences that came from it.”

“Harry has no idea you’re pregnant, does he? Do you even plan on telling him at all?”

“Not really. He’s going on a whole tour and I don’t want to mess it up. Just because I don’t have my life together doesn’t mean he should suffer the consequences.”

“That makes no fucking sense, Louis. Most people would kill to have their child’s father be like Harry. You know that he would want to be there for you and your baby. You have to let him know. This baby is half him, too. If he was the one pregnant wouldn’t you want to know?”

“It’s so fucking different, and you know it is. I’m a teacher in a public school; Harry’s just started his tour of Europe to perform his music. You know he would drop everything if he found out. I don’t want that for him. Performing is his dream, and I can’t take that away from him. You have to understand that. I’m trying to protect him.”

Zayn’s angry look slipped off of his face, replaced by sadness. Maybe this time Louis actually did something right.

 “Okay. I’m not happy with your choice, but I accept it. I have no idea how you’re going to pull it off though. You’re going to start showing soon and you’re bound to run into Harry at some point.”

 “Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. You’re saying you won’t tell Liam or Harry?”

“I’m saying I’ll keep it a secret as long as I can. Liam’s going to ask about you sometime and I can’t keep it a secret. I don’t think he would assume it was Harry’s, but I can’t be sure. I’m going to try and be supportive in whatever way possible, yeah? Try being the key word.”

The conversation ended after that. Louis ate his meal with Zayn in silence, allowing Zayn to ramble on about an art project he was commissioned for. Zayn offered to clean up the table. Louis headed back to his room, laid on the bed without even taking his clothes off, and didn’t wake up until the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... sorry if this sucks? I think everyone will enjoy the next chapter though. Thank you to everyone who's left kudos/bookmarked and an extra special thank you to everyone who's commented. As always, this is a work of pure fiction, no harm intended.


	3. Chapter 3

In hindsight, Louis probably shouldn’t have told Zayn about his pregnancy the day before his first real job. He was a nervous wreck about the students. Telling them that they were getting to know him for a few months and then he was leaving was a bit weird. He had been told time and time again to brush off whatever things students say sometimes, but it was easier said than done. He was surprisingly calm about actually teaching people. He had confidence in his abilities and didn’t doubt that he would do well, because he had always done so previously. Finally being the one in charge wasn’t going to change that.

The day ended up being a mild success. Most of the kids weren’t paying that much attention to what he was doing, but he expected that. He was easily able to pick out the ones who really wanted to be there and would actually take his advice.

He wanted to text Harry how his day had gone. He could imagine how proud Harry would be, say that they celebrate by getting cupcakes at the bakery across the street. He missed Harry’s presence in his life, though soon he would be having his baby to make up for it.

Harry had moved in over the last weekend. Well, not moved in per say, but his stuff was in his flat. Zayn had been down there just to see the condition of the flat and Louis had come along. It was still all packaged up, not to be taken out until Harry could spend more than an hour to get his flat set up.

He and Zayn had yet to talk about future living arrangements with a baby on the way, but Louis began searching for flats to get a head start. It would be difficult to find one in his price range but still close enough to the school, and preferably with some kind of daycare center that was trustworthy enough. A few too many items on his list it seemed.

He spent the next few days looking into flats after he was done with school. The baby was finally taking a major toll on his body, with the body aches increasing in intensity and exhaustion taking over him. The morning sickness had ceased quite a bit, which he was thankful for. His search for flats hadn’t gone well, and the time window was getting smaller and smaller. Zayn had said that there was no rush and he wouldn’t really mind a baby that much. It would bother Louis if he was taking up way more than half the space but not paying half the rent. Besides, not a lot of people wanted to live with a baby that wasn’t theirs. Harry’s tour had started when Louis was about five and a half months pregnant, and end a month later. That gave Louis until the end of his tour to fully move out of the flat, since it would be impossible to hide his bump by then and he didn’t want to push his luck if he ran into Harry. He was already pushing it by staying in London.

The first school week passed too quickly for Louis. His appointment was on Saturday, and Zayn had offered to go with him but Louis had refused. He appreciated Zayn’s support immensely, but he wanted hearing his baby’s heartbeat and seeing it for the first time to be a private thing. If Harry wasn’t the one there, then Louis didn’t want anyone else to be.

He was currently sitting in the waiting room of the maternity and paternity ward, nervously checking his phone for messages every thirty seconds. Zayn hadn’t mentioned Harry for the past few days, but Louis kept up with him by reading his messages and his twitter, which had gained a massive amount of followers since his tour had been announced. Louis had even followed some blogs on Tumblr that posted a lot of Harry’s things, the fact of which still blew his mind.

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling his name. “Tomlinson?” Louis looked up to find a petite nurse standing in front of one of the rooms, and he stood up and walked over to her. She smiled and greeted him with a friendly hello, then led him into a room to weigh and check his vitals, leaving after saying that his doctor would be in momentarily.

The doctor was a bit like the nurse, very small, but with short auburn hair and a black pencil skirt under her pristine white coat.

“Hello there,” she greeted, smiling at him as he sat on the hospital bed. “I see that you’re new to London. How have you liked it so far?”

Besides the fact that his best friend and father of his child that he currently refused to speak to was moving in below him, he found London quite pleasant. “Pretty good, yeah.” Short and to the point. He prayed for the appointment to go by as quick as possible. The doctor asked him about his usual routine, his diet, and other mundane things. She finally said that it was pretty definite that he was pregnant, and brought in the ultrasound machine to make sure the baby was healthy. She hooked it up, but hid the screen from his view.

“Well, congrats, you are definitely pregnant. And you’re estimates were accurate; I’d say you’re about five and a half months along judging by the conception date and the baby’s size. You’re blood pressure is a bit higher than normal, but you don’t seem to be having any sign of preeclampsia which is a good sign, so all we need to do is be extra careful and watch out for anything. You’re pretty lucky to be this healthy so far in without a doctor’s visit, though. I can let you hear the heartbeat and see if you want, and tell you the gender?”

Louis tried to swallow the lump in his throat and remembered that he was not going to cry. But if he did it was perfectly reasonable and normal. He nodded his head and said, “Yeah, all of that please.”

The doctor turned on the sound so he could hear a fast heartbeat noise fill the room, and then the doctor turned around the monitor so he could see the baby. “It looks like you’ll be welcoming a little girl,” she said.

It seemed that not crying was easier said than done. For the first time, Louis never doubted his decision to keep the baby. His _daughter._ He already loved her so much and wanted to give her the world, and he would do his best to make that possible. He loved hearing her heartbeat, strong and fast and the most wonderful sound he had ever heard. No amount of time trying to prepare for this could have made him ready to see her on the screen, the blurry black and white showing him his baby for the first time. The doctor pointed out her where her head, hands, and feet were so he could see a clear outline of her. She eventually had to turn off the ultrasound machine, but promised to be back with copies of the ultrasound to show to his friends and family. She returned with the photos and Louis signed himself out of the hospital, ready to go back home.

On the bus, Louis wondered if there was an alternate universe where he and Harry were still friends. There could be so many things that had gone differently. He wondered how things would be if he had never gotten pregnant, or still had but was in contact with Harry. Would Harry have been with him at the appointment, just as amazed by the life that was growing inside of Louis? Would things be better now if he had told Harry at the beginning? Louis tried to tell himself that it was for the best. From a purely logical standpoint, it was better for him to take care of the baby so Harry could continue on with his career and not have a baby to worry about. But emotions would always be mixed in. Harry would be furious if he found out he had a child and Louis hadn’t told him, but Louis didn’t want Harry to drop everything to take care of them. Harry was the one who should be going out and finding true love, having the perfect career and family. Not having a ruined career because he had a one night stand and knocked the person up. Louis knew that he was much more than a quick fuck to Harry, but it was the best way of saying it if he was convincing himself that he was doing the right thing.

He entered the apartment to find Liam and Zayn on the sofa, with Zayn lying down sprawled over Liam and Liam’s hand tangled in Zayn’s hair. Pretty disgusting, if you asked him. Zayn shot up at hearing Louis come in, and immediately Louis could tell that something was going on. Liam and Zayn had their “serious conversation” looks on, which only ever happened if they had bad news, even though it never had to do with Louis in the past. Maybe it was about Harry then?

“How was the appointment?” Liam asked, trying to engage in small talk before he would say what was really going on.

“Pretty good. I got to hear the heartbeat, and see her. It’s a girl. I have some pictures if you want to see them.”

Zayn looked at Liam, then back at Louis. “Umm, maybe later. We have something that we think we should talk about.”

“Oh, joy. I can only imagine what a fun conversation this will be,” Louis grumbled. Louis sat down in the recliner by the sofa, trying to settle in before having to hear whatever bad news Zayn was bringing. Louis wasn’t actually in a bad mood, but he thought he would be able to share baby pictures with Zayn before a lecture.

Zayn continued, “You know I’ve tried to be as supportive as possible these last few weeks, right? And I want to continue being supportive for you, I want to be there for you. And I know I said I would respect your wishes to not tell Harry but---”

“You’re not going to change my mind on that, Zayn. I’m not going to tell Harry if I can help it. I don’t care whether you understand or not, it’s not going to happen.”

“Please don’t be like this, Louis. We are trying to reason with you here. Harry is literally moving in downstairs and you expect him to never know that you’re having his kid? It might be a large building, Lou, but you’re going to cross paths with him sometime. You should tell him now and not in a few months when he sees the evidence,” said Zayn.

“I’ll be moved out by then, hopefully. And if not, I’ll just tell him it’s not his and to leave me alone. It’s worked so far.”

“Louis…” Zayn tried to tell him for the last time. Louis just kept silent, letting Zayn continue. “Liam’s going to tell him if you don’t.”

In a way, Louis knew that this was coming. He trusted Zayn. There was no way he was happy with him right now, but he also understood. He just wanted there to be a way for him to stop it. “You’re bluffing, Zayn,” Louis said, but he knew there was too much uncertainty in his voice.

Liam spoke, this time. “Look, Louis, I’ve known Harry for years now. You’ve known him even longer and better. I can have you hating me, but I can’t keep something this huge from Harry. As his manager and as his friend, and even as your friend. You know that Harry would want to know. I understand that you’re scared, but this was going to happen sometime.”

“No, it wasn’t. You’re acting like it’s impossible for me to keep this from him. I’m trying to protect him,” Louis said.

“From what, Louis? Being a father? Is this because you know that he would want to be there for you? I don’t get you,” Zayn said.

“Well, the feeling is mutual. I’m protecting him from ruining his career! He’s wanted to be a real, album-selling, touring musician for years. I can’t ruin that for him.”

Liam looked at Louis pitifully. Louis just wanted them to understand that he was trying to do what was best for Harry. Liam sighed, “Louis. Harry’s touring, yeah, but it’s only a European tour. It’ll last a month. He’s managed to write and record two albums while still doing well in Uni, and he’s dropping out now anyway. I’m guessing he didn’t tell you that though. He’s going to make money but he’s not going to be an A-lister, or a B-lister, and probably not a C-lister. He just makes good music, that’s what sells. Not his personal life or doing some PR stunts. He would have plenty of time to be there for you and raise a child. I’ve seen other people be amazing parents with even less time than him. And I know he would be an amazing parent, you both will. This is something he wants, maybe not at this exact time, but he would want to be there. And you obviously care enough to want what’s best for the baby. He needs to know, Louis.”

Louis took a deep breath. He knew that what Liam said was true, but he still didn’t want to hurt Harry’s career. He didn’t want Harry to feel obligated to take care of either of them in any way. He wanted Harry to have the life that he was meant to have, doing something he loved surrounded by the people he loved. Harry was only twenty-three and still had so much to explore. Harry was curious and creative and he deserved everything. He deserved to go on his tours and perform and fall in love and do things the right way. Louis was trying to protect him, even if he didn’t really know how. He was doing to only thing he knew to do.

Liam look exasperated, but finally said, “Harry’s downstairs. He’s taking the next few days off and then going back to Dublin to finish touring, but he’s here right now. He knows that you’re living with Zayn, but he promised not to bother you. I’m not saying that you should tell him now, or tomorrow, but I’m going to tell him if you don’t.”

“Fine,” Louis acquiesced, “I’ll go tell Harry tonight, I need to relax for a bit. Are you happy now?”

“I know you’re not happy with us now, Lou, but I promise that in a few years this will all make sense and you’ll be happy. I haven’t seen you smile since you moved here, not like you used to with Harry. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your whole life for Harry’s happiness. This is on him, too,” Zayn sighed.

Louis knew that. But he didn’t want Harry’s life to be affected negatively by something that was an accident. He wanted Harry to be in love with the person that would carry his future children. He wanted Harry to decide his life, not have something forced upon him.

Louis also knew that he would have to tell him sometime. He would’ve been able to keep it a secret if he had an abortion, or maybe even putting her up for adoption. Maybe even if Harry had stayed at home or hadn’t moved to London. But Harry was only a flight of stairs away from him, and he knew that Louis was living here. They would run in to each other whether Louis liked it or not.

What would Harry think of him? He knew it would be nothing bad, because Harry was beautiful and lovely and Louis was his best friend. Harry missed him, and he missed Harry. He needed to stop thinking that only the worst could happen, because with Harry it was often the best that did.

Things would be okay. Hell, Louis might even one day tell Harry how he actually felt about him. Of all people to be knocked up by, Harry was his very first choice. That sounded weird, but the point was he was in love with Harry. Harry loved him, even in a platonic fashion. Things would be okay.

Louis went to his room to calm down for a bit, lying on the bed. Louis watched a bit of television and stared at his printed sonogram. He should take that with him when he saw Harry; give him one of the extra copies if he wanted it. Having the sonogram made it feel so much more real. It felt real with his body taking a giant physical toll, but it was still odd to think that in a few months he would have his own newborn to take care of. The baby was supposed to move inside him during this point of his pregnancy. Louis had hit the 22 week mark, so he should feel the baby move in the next few weeks. By then Harry would know, and Louis could imagine telling Harry that the baby kicked.

Louis’s first choice might’ve been to not tell Harry at all, but if he was going to tell him he hoped Harry would be even a tiny bit happy. It might not be a planned pregnancy, but they were both financially stable that it wouldn’t be terribly hard on them. Louis wanted Harry to be able to have a romantic relationship with whomever he chose, though, and he knew having a baby at such a young age would hinder that. Not many people around Harry’s age wanted to date someone who would be taking care of a baby half of the time.

Either way, Louis wasn’t left with a choice. He had a quick lunch and looked over the little bit of work he needed to do, and made dinner. Zayn had said that it was a good idea for Harry to come over to the flat so he and Louis could discuss over dinner. Louis was more comfortable in his own flat and there wouldn’t be any intruders.

He could do this. All he needed to do was call Harry and invite him over; he had done that a million times before. Only this time he would be changing his whole life. He had lain dinner out nicely on the table and had gotten dressed in something that made his bump not obvious. Hopefully Harry wouldn’t question it and put it off as stress eating or something. Louis took his phone out of his pocket and clicked Harry’s contact to call him.

Every ring was agonizing. It only took Harry a few seconds to answer the phone, but it took every ounce of Louis’s energy to not end the phone call and go cry in his bed.

“Louis?” Harry answered, surprised. Oh, God, he was actually there. Louis tried not to panic.

“Umm, hey. Liam told me that you were in town for the next few days, and I was wondering if you would want to come over for dinner? If you don’t have any plans, of course. It’s fine if you do, I was just thinking--”

Harry laughed a bit on the other end. “I’m free Louis. You’re flat number is 317, right? I can be there in about fifteen minutes, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, sure! I’ll see you then, I guess.” Louis didn’t even wait to hear a “bye” on Harry’s end before he pressed the end call button and sank into a chair. Holy shit, Harry was coming over in fifteen minutes. All Louis could do was panic in the chair for a few minutes, thinking about how messy this whole thing would be. He had everything prepared perfectly, tried to plan for everything that he would say to Harry. Oh, god, he was pregnant. What if Harry knew immediately? He knew Louis better than almost anyone, would he be able to tell that something was wrong? What if he ended up not coming? Louis hoped he hadn’t ruined his plans for anything just to come to dinner.

A knock came from the door and Louis jumped up, rushing over the entryway and trying to gain his composure. He opened the door to reveal Harry standing casually, dressed in his usual dressier clothing, black skinny jeans and a flowing patterned top.

The thing about Harry is that you can know that he’s beautiful and gorgeous and his entire presence will take you when he walks in the room, but you’re still surprised when he does that exact thing. He had left his hair down, ringlets falling over his shoulders and just a bit frizzy. He looked stunning, as always, and Louis felt as though he shouldn’t be blessed with his presence.

“Hi,” Harry greeted. God, this dinner alone would fuel Louis’s erotic thoughts for a week. Harry smiled at him. He looked awkward, trying to make himself look smaller than his usual lanky self. Louis loved him more than anything.

“Hi,” Louis replied. It took him a few seconds to regain his thoughts. “You can, umm, come in. Sorry about the bit of the mess, this was kind of a last minute thing. I’m hoping you don’t mind spaghetti and meatballs.”

“Surprisingly, my tastes have changed very little in the few months we haven’t seen each other,” Harry joked. He came into the flat, and Louis led the both of them over to the table to sit down.

They both sat down and Harry stared at Louis, his eyes sparkling. Louis was glad he could enjoy just one moment of happiness before he dropped the news. Harry’s slight smile turned down, letting the conversation turn serious. Louis hadn’t even started on his pasta.

“Louis… I’m sorry if I’ve been bothering you with the texts. The first night I was drunk, and sad, and I didn’t know what to do. I don’t really have an excuse for all the other days though. I hope you don’t hate me,” Harry began.

“I’m not the one who should be wondering if the other hates me. I totally left you without any explanation, and I didn’t want it to go down like that. Especially when you just had your tour news.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie and say that I understand it, but I don’t hate you. I don’t know if hating you is even possible, Louis. I just want us to stop pretending like we’ve never talked before. I love you, and if you really don’t want to be friends anymore, then I promise that I’ll stop contacting you. But whatever it was that I did, I want to make up for it. These past few months have been so amazing, Lou, but it’s not the same without hearing your voice every night. I want us to be friends again, if that’s what you want. We can take it slow, you know? I miss you so much and I want to be with you in whatever way you’re comfortable with, if you’ll allow me,” Harry explained.

“Harry, I’m pregnant.” There. Louis hoped everyone was happy with that, short and to the point. He mostly just didn’t know what to say any longer.

Harry’s mouth dropped and there was a long pause before he spoke. “You’re… pregnant?”

“Yeah.” Louis didn’t know what else to say.

Harry paused once again. “Oh. That’s… really good, Lou. I didn’t know that you had met anyone in London. I mean, this probably wasn’t planned, but you know. Did I say something wrong already? Oh, god. I don’t know what to say. Congratulations?”

Was Harry serious? Did he really think the baby was someone else’s? “Umm, I don’t think you’re really getting it,” Louis tried.

“No, no, I do. I just… you just started you’re new job, though? That’s got to be kind of stressful. I’m really happy for you.”

“The baby is yours. I know the end of the semester can get a bit hazy, but I know you remember having sex with me? You, Harry Styles, are going to be a father.”

It seemed as if Harry was surprised, once again, with nothing to say. “Oh.”

“Oh.” Harry didn’t seem angry with the news as Louis had predicted. He simply seemed shocked. His mouth still hung open and he wouldn’t stop staring at Louis, to the point where he was beginning to think something might be wrong.

“How far along are you?” Harry asked slowly. Louis winced. He knew Harry would be upset because Louis didn’t tell him for a while, lost time for Harry. He would have preferred to have waited after the tour (or not at all), but better now than never for Zayn and Liam.

“About 5 and a half months. I actually had my first appointment today, and the doctor said my due date is around mid-January. I found out about a month and a half ago.”

“They’re healthy then? Everything’s good, no problems?”

“My blood pressure is a little high, but it’s under control. She said I should just have a better diet and exercise more, so pretty simple. I have a picture if you wanted to see it?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, definitely.” Louis took the picture out of the folder he had on the table, along with other medical files and pamphlets. He was still amazed every time he looked at it. He handed it over to Harry, who gingerly took it in his much larger hands. He smiled at the picture, rubbing his finger over the photo. “You can know the gender by now, right? Do you know?”

“Yeah. That’s your future daughter there.” Louis got out of his chair and kneeled beside Harry, showing him all the things the doctor had shown him earlier in the day. Harry kept grinning all the way throughout, and he asked Louis if he could keep the picture. Louis went back to sit in his seat, and they finally ate their dinner while chatting about the prenatal vitamins Louis had gotten and how he had been for the duration of the pregnancy. Louis knew that they needed to get down to business, though.

“Harry, I just want you to know that you shouldn’t feel obligated to help out in any way. I’ve got things under control. I’ve been looking for flats and thinking about bills and such, so I’m all covered in the financial department. Zayn and my mum have been a huge support, so there’s that. I know you’re busy and you’ve just started getting your whole career in motion, I don’t want you to ruin that,” Louis explained.

“Do you not want me in the baby’s life?” Harry asked, his smile dropping off his face.

“No, that’s not it. I just want you to make whatever choice you think is best for you,” Louis didn’t want Harry to say that he wouldn’t be in their daughter’s life. He would’ve rather just kept it a secret from him than get his heart broken.

“You think I’m going to put my career before you?”

“I didn’t say that. I think that you should really think about what all of this means before making any rash decisions. I have work tomorrow, but you can come over any time after or I can come over to yours if you want. All I’m asking you to do is think about this, okay?”

Harry nodded, getting out of his chair and pushing it back in. “I’m really glad that you told me, Louis. Seriously. And I’m so glad that I got to see you again. I’ve missed you,” Harry said giving Louis one last smile before he left.

“I missed you, too,” Louis whispered, as Harry walked over to the door and left the flat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm throwing the update schedule to the wind, sorry? The fandom has just been very emotional today so I hope this is a small pick-me-up. I have no medical background (or any background really) so please forgive me.Thank you to everyone who's left kudos/bookmarked. A very very special thank you to everyone who's left a comment, I love reading what you have to say!


	4. Chapter 4

Louis went to work the next day feeling more emotionally exhausted than physically. His students were just as tired, but he barely had the energy to snap at the ones who fell asleep while watching the others perform. He left his classroom after making sure his attendance and grades were in order, seeing a new text from Zayn that he would be at Liam’s (what a surprise) and another one from Harry asking if he wanted to come over when he got home.

Louis was happy that he could finally text him back now that they had spoken in person, so he replied that he would come once he got back from work. After the ride home, Louis got into the building and went to Harry’s floor. He knocked on the door and heard a shuffling noise as Harry came to open the door. Harry’s hair was frazzled and his shirt a bit wrinkled, but he still managed to be the hottest thing Louis had seen.

“Umm, hey,” Harry answered, standing aside to let Louis into the flat. It still had quite a few unpacked boxes, even though it was probably furniture that needed to be built. Harry had his sofa and television set up in the living room, with a side table where Louis saw the sonogram photo laying.

He and Harry ended up sitting on the couch awkwardly, backs against the cushions and looking straight ahead. Harry looked at him, frowning. “Louis… I know you said for me to think about it, but for me this decision was already made. You know that I would never leave you alone with something like this. I love you, and I know that you regret that night and maybe this baby, but I promise I am going to try and make it a good thing. We made a mistake, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We both wanted this eventually, yeah? Maybe we didn’t envision it with each other, but that’s what happened. I want to be there for you and the baby, as much as you’ll let me. I mean, I don’t even know if you want to keep it or not, but I’ll try and support you with whatever decision you make on that front too.”

“I want to keep it, Harry. It’s probably easier for us if I don’t, but I want to. I just… we made her and I want to keep her,” Louis admitted.  He and Harry looked at each other with sad eyes. Louis wasn’t staring at the long-haired, boot-wearing touring musician anymore. He was looking at the Harry he first met, doe-eyed and curls flying everywhere. He loved both of them, and he wanted to know every single Harry that would come after that. They were all the same, really. Harry would always be the kindest, most generous, most amazing person he had ever met no matter what he physically looked like. He wanted Harry to be there for every moment of their daughter’s life – her first steps, her first words, _everything._ He wanted Harry to be happy most of all. Harry put his arms around his shoulders, bringing him into a hug. Louis snaked his arms to clutch at Harry’s back and buried his face in his neck. He didn’t feel tears come, but he knew that he was breathing oddly. Harry kept rubbing his back and whispering to him, telling him that everything would be okay and he was here for him and he loved him.

“Please don’t shut me out again, Lou. I can’t handle it,” Harry pleaded.

“I won’t, I won’t. I promise. I’m so sorry,” Louis whispered. They held onto each other tightly for what seemed like hours, but broke apart only minutes later. Louis felt that they had made a silent pact, one that said that they were never going to lose each other again.

Harry offered to cook dinner for Louis. They stayed at his flat and chatted about Louis’s new job, their new flats, and how touring was going for Harry.

Harry said that he had been disappointed that Louis had yet to come to one of his touring shows. Louis felt guilty because he had always been one of Harry’s biggest supporters of his music. He had met Harry when Harry was only eighteen and loved playing acoustic covers of songs. He had only dabbled in song writing, much less thought of it as a career. After he posted some of his covers online and gained a good following, he was able to start selling his songs to a few indie artists. Soon enough, he was using his own songs and had been offered a record deal with Liam’s father’s company.

Louis promised to come to go to his last two shows since they were in London and Louis would be able to drive there in plenty of time. Harry winked at him and said he would give him some backstage passes.

Louis felt comfortable with Harry. He wanted to curl up with Harry in his much nicer bed, sleep there with Harry totally covering him. Everything seemed to go back to normal as quickly as they had become friends when they first met, although Louis shouldn’t be surprised. That’s just the way they were – orbiting the other one and staying in sync. Louis had been wrong about Harry leaving him eventually, because there was nothing that could ever replace or take away their friendship.

…

After that, things were better with Harry and Louis. Harry had told Louis that Liam and his PR manager, Niall, would want to speak with the both of them after the tour was done, but otherwise they had no other duties besides the usual ones. Harry had used the rest of his break to unpack all the boxes and putting the final touches on the flat, which Louis had helped with by sitting on the couch and cheering him on. Louis had come over to Harry’s flat every day when he was off his tour, and the two settled into a comfortable routine.

Harry still had two weeks left of his tour, and he left for Dublin after his break. Harry’s music was getting more and more followers. Louis was so happy to be a part of his life again so they could celebrate it together. Louis was happy that he could hear Harry every day, and touch him again. Missing each other was always an understatement for them.

The majority of the two weeks passed by quickly. Harry called Louis every night, telling him about the show and that he missed him and the baby. Louis would attend the two shows that would be held in London. Friday was the first, allowing Louis to get to leave the school building as soon as his day was over and go back to the flat to get dressed and have a snack. Harry had said that there would be food available for him, but he wanted to be prepared. Since there had been no announcements to the public about his and Harry’s upcoming baby, Louis would fit in fine with the other concert-goers. Even so, he would have a security guard close by and have a reserved seat so he wouldn’t be bothered.

He grabbed a cab to get to the stage. He had come earlier since he wanted to see Harry before the show, and he got to the entrance of the backstage area after he showed the badge that Harry had given him the day before. He spotted Harry drinking from a water bottle and looking on his phone, typing away.

Harry looked up as Louis opened the door, smiling at him. Louis walked over to Harry’s spot and took a seat in a chair beside him.

“Did your trip go alright? How is she, good? How are you feeling physically?” Harry rambled, overly protective of Louis.

“Harry, we’re both fine. Everything’s good, nothing has changed since we saw each other last night,” Louis replied. Harry’s stylist had put an extreme amount of product in his hair, making his curls stiff and odd. He was dressed in a plain white t-shirt and black skinny jeans, with his heeled boots. Louis wanted to kiss him.

They sat and talked for a bit, hearing the noise grow continuously louder as more people began to arrive for the show. These shows were so different from all the other ones Louis’s had gone to before. Harry was more popular than ever, he had his first ever sold out show only three weeks ago. This wasn’t like the times when Harry played at the little café they went to every Friday night, or any other gig he managed to get. This was a whole show for him and only him, people paying to watch Harry.

The show was only a half hour away from starting, and Louis was led to his seat by a security guard. He could tell a few people were suspicious that there was a guard for him, but no one actually came up to him and he didn’t think anyone was taking pictures of him. Even if they were, who cared? They still wouldn’t be able to find out who he was, probably.

The show began and ended with a feeling that Louis was convinced Harry brought naturally. It was like a natural high; Louis could feel the happiness coursing through his body as Harry sang about finding love and being as happy as Louis felt. Louis loved Harry so much and he couldn’t imagine a life without him. Harry was always able to make him smile and laugh and he loved him, he was in love with him. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that he, Louis Tomlinson, was in love with Harry Styles. He was Harry’s best friend and pregnant with his goddamn child, and he was so fucking happy.

Harry had held the audience better than Louis had ever seen him before. Harry made the audience laugh with his absolutely terrible jokes and being completely weird. He made the audience feel something with his music, and that was all that he had ever wanted. Louis knew that. All he wanted to do was share his passion with the world, and he was so damn good at it. It felt amazing that Louis was the one who would be going home with Harry after this. He was the one watching Harry talk about his concert and had the behind-the-scenes Harry. The soft Harry, who was just as funny and creative and lovable, but also warm and caring and inviting. The Harry that was going to be the best father ever, to a baby he didn’t even ask for.

…

After the concert, Louis and Harry went back to Harry’s flat. Harry was tipsy and Louis was completely drunk on love. Horny, too, but that was beside the point. They laughed and Louis doesn’t remember much more than that. He went home feeling genuinely happy for the first time in months. Harry was back in his life. He might be pregnant with a completely unplanned baby, but he _wanted_ it. He and Harry would be tied forever. He wanted a baby, his baby, and everything was going to work out.

He put on his pajamas and crawled into bed, falling asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

He woke up stiff in more than one place, but ignored it. Today was the meeting with Harry’s PR manager to decide how to go about telling the public that one Harry Styles would be having a baby.

Harry’s cab would be picking them both up and they would go into the meeting together. Harry knocked on his door and they smiled at each other silently. Louis then went out to go with him.

Louis was already nervous for the meeting, and Harry wasn’t making it any better. Despite Harry telling him that Niall and Liam were both trying their hardest to make his pregnancy go as smoothly as possible, Louis knew it was way off script to go and get someone he wasn’t even dating pregnant. Louis had met Niall only briefly before the concert last night, and while he liked him, his job was also to make Harry look his best in the public eye. Louis knew that Harry could potentially be caught up in PR stunts later on. It was something Louis could handle but didn’t want to see Harry go through.

Harry seemed even more nervous for the meeting than Louis. He wasn’t his usual bubbly, silly self by any stretch of the imagination. He barely gave Louis a smile when he had greeted him at the door, and kept tapping his fingers on his thighs in the car. Louis eventually reached his hand out to Harry, holding it and squeezing it in hope of giving Harry any sort of comfort. If Harry was this nervous, what the hell did he think was going to happen in the meeting? Louis didn’t know what the worst possible thing was; he was never involved with things like this. He had dealt with the fun things – recording and writing, meeting a couple of famous people. Harry didn’t invite Louis to marketing meetings.

But he had Harry. They couldn’t possibly take the father of his child away from him. He loved Harry, and more importantly liked him as a person. The worst case in his mind would that he and Harry would need to spend more time together in public, which was a far from a punishment as one could get for Louis.

They entered the building and went up to Liam’s office, where he and Niall were talking casually. They exchanged smiles except for Harry, who managed to look like he was getting the worst news of his life. Louis and Harry sat down beside them.

“Alright,” Liam began. “We’ve all met before, so let’s cut to the chase. I know this wasn’t planned for you two. You still have to work on your overly complicated feelings that I still can’t figure out, but nonetheless I know will work it out. We still have to work on whether we’re going to announce it to the public officially, take a more casual route, or something else. It’ll affect Harry’s image no matter what, but not necessarily in a bad way. Any questions?”

Louis and Harry stayed silent, Louis shaking his head. He kept holding on to Harry’s hand, this time more for his comfort than for Harry’s. This was the exact reason he didn’t want to tell Harry about the pregnancy. He knew that Liam was trying to ease their fears, saying that it wasn’t a bad thing but Louis knew it would change marketing a bit. Even though Harry had been marketed using his music, not his looks, there were still quite a few fans who were attracted to him and imagined dating him, or thought of him in some romantic manner. They didn’t make up a large part of the market for Harry’s music, but they existed and Louis didn’t think telling them that Harry would be having a child with a man was not on the list of things they wanted to hear.

Niall cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, no matter what we do we’re going to lose some part of your fan base. Hopefully it’ll be small; we’ve tried to market your music and not your personality as much as possible. You’re pretty private anyway. I thought that maybe bringing your social media into things would be a good idea, since people could get to know you as a person, as well as a musician. We’ve barely used your Instagram and it could get a really good following if we posted some more personal things. I think being genuine about this will be the best thing – low-key and boring in terms of planned dramatization. Maybe post of picture of Louis with Harry holding his bump, put the due date in the caption and how long you’ve been dating. Pretty easy.”

Louis liked how that sounded. Low drama, just having it be a close personal thing with a smaller group of fans. He wasn’t so sure about the dating part.

“How long we’ve been dating?” Louis questioned.

“Yeah, you know, cheesy and stuff to reel people in. Everyone eats it up, I know I do. Maybe somethin’ like, ehh, ‘One plus one equals two – May 13, 2013. One plus one equals three – January 21, 2015.’ I think that’s quite genius actually. Kinda cryptic, but people will figure it out,” Niall explained.

“No, that’s not my thing. Harry and I – we. We aren’t in a relationship, it’s strictly platonic.”

Louis guessed that Niall didn’t know this. Niall’s eyes stared off into space and his mouth slack. “Oh,” Niall said.

“Yeah. I didn’t know how that would affect things. Me and Harry are kind of sharing custody, but we’re not going to be like… getting married or even living together really. We’re just kind of dealing with things in the best way we know how, yeah? As friends, you know.”

Niall still looked lost, but regained his composure. “Okay then. That does change plans a little bit, but not to worry.”

“How does it change plans? Majorly?” Louis asked.

“Not necessarily. The only problem is how Harry’s image has progressed. He’s the nice boy next door, settle down and have a good time kind of guy. Not really someone you’d expect to go and knock up someone and have a messy shared custody with. If that’s what you want to do though, we can work something out. It wouldn’t be that hard, but, no offence, it’s just not as good a story.”

“You think it would be better for Harry’s career and his image though?”

“Well, probably. Of course I can’t say for sure, but people are going to be happier with a simple “boyfriends having a baby” thing. It’s cute and protects your privacy by a long shot, which is what I would go for in this case, but overall you can do what you want.”

“What would happen after the baby’s born, though? Won’t it be weird when Harry only has her sometime and we’re separated? We can’t pretend to be dating forever.”

“You could probably stage a break up sometime after the baby is born. Make it as low key as possible.”

“Okay. I think that’s what we should do,” Louis stated, looking over at Harry for his approval.

Harry was not pleased. His nervousness had been turned into Harry scowling at Niall and being stiff. “Louis? Can I talk to you outside please?” he asked.

Harry led him out of the office and they stood by the doorway. “What the hell are you thinking?” Harry asked, exasperated.

“I’m thinking about what’s best for the both of us. I don’t see why you’re angry,” Louis said.

“I don’t want you to be dragged into scripted PR stuff. If we pretended to be dating they’re gonna ask us to do pap walks, or worse. I think we should just tell them the truth – we’re friends and we’re raising a baby together but nothing more.”

Louis was not very happy with Harry at the moment. He was trying to do what would be best for Harry and his career, and so what if they had to do pap walks? They would bring publicity for Harry and spending time with Harry was the least of his worries. He felt as if Harry was the one against the idea of them being in a relationship, even a fake one, when Louis had more rights to be angry. “I’m sorry the idea of being in a relationship with me repels you so much. You are the one who knocked me up after all, but fine. Do it your way.”

“Louis, that’s not what I meant--”

“Save it. I’m assuming I have to sign some sort of contract?”

“No. We have to talk about this, Lou, that’s not what I meant. I’m trying to do what’s best for _you_ , alright? I just—I’m just as scared as you are about this. We’re having a baby and I feel like I’m barely going to be in her life. I don’t want either of you to shut me out again, and I don’t want to act like we’re divorced parents sharing custody. That’s what people who barely know each other do. But we know each other better than anyone else, and I love you. I want us to be a family and raise her together. I don’t know how to put it better than that.”

“Harry….”

“I know you’re scared about my schedule, Liam told me. But I promise to put you and our daughter first. I always will, there is absolutely no contest. I love being a musician, but being a father is so much more important. I’m trying so hard, Lou, and I just want you to let me in. I love you and I can’t pretend like I’m going to be okay with seeing her only on the weekends, or whatever other plan you’ve came up with. I want to hear her crying when I’m writing songs so I can go comfort her. I want us to play with her when she’s happy and hold her when she’s sad. I want that so badly, Lou. I want this, whether it was planned or not.”

Louis had no idea what to say, so he kept looking at Harry with wide eyes. Harry took his hands in his own, intertwining them together. “Please let me in,” Harry begged. All Louis could find himself to do was nod. Harry hugged him tight, nearly picking him off the floor. His thumbs ran over the baby bump in between them and Harry smiled for the first time since Louis had seen him that day.

A couple minutes passed until they finally got off their emotional high. “So,” Louis began, “What are we going to do? I know you don’t want me involved in PR stuff, but I want what’s best for you. It’s not the big of a deal.”

“Okay. Whatever you feel comfortable with doing, I’ll act like I’m okay with it at the very least. On the bright side I’ll be getting to go with you to places and that’ll be good, yeah?” Louis nodded, and they finally went back into Liam’s office. They had been gone for at least ten minutes, so hopefully Liam and Niall didn’t mind too much.

“I’m okay with doing to fake relationship thing. I don’t want to think about breakup stuff this early, we’ll just see what happens and go from there, yeah?”

Niall smiled and nodded. “Sounds good, mate. Hopefully you don’t mind signing a little contract, there’s no fine print that would really affect you, but you can have a lawyer look at it or take a few days to read it if you’d like.” He handed over the small stack of papers to Louis, who skimmed them over quickly. None of the clauses had to do with finances, so Louis was already ten times more comfortable with signing. All it included were things that Louis would never do anyway, post slander against Harry or one of his “allies,” do anything super extreme, get caught doing anything illegal, ex cetera. Louis decided to sign there on the spot, using the pen to sign his name in sloped letters.

Niall said that that was all for them to do and they could leave as soon as they wanted, but Liam invited them all out to lunch with Zayn. The four of them piled up in Liam’s vehicle to drive to the restaurant Liam was taking them. When they reached their destination Louis looked around. It was a fairly posh place, with nice bistro-style outdoor seating and little lamps making a pathway to the door. Louis thought that it would be even more beautiful if it was at night. They went along the stone walkway, leading up to two large wooden French doors with brass handles that could definitely use a new paint job.

Louis was nervous that he would be the only one underdressed with only a casual jacket over his plain white t-shirt, But Harry snaked his arm around his waist and he felt instantly comfortable. The waiter greeted them and took them to a table, where Louis and Harry sat beside each other and Niall left a space for Zayn to sit by Liam.

The menu had prices that were quite above what Louis could afford, and he didn’t really want to admit that he couldn’t really pay to be here. Well, there went part of his paycheck. They all ordered their drinks, Liam ordering for Zayn, and everyone but Liam continued to look at the menu. Zayn got there eventually, spotting them and rushing over to the table.

“Sorry, I was almost done with a piece and wanted to finish it,” Zayn explained, giving Liam a quick peck on the lips before sitting down beside him. Once they all put in their order they sat around and talked about general things – how Louis’s pregnancy was going, what new project Zayn was working on, and the new band that Liam was thinking about signing. Louis liked Niall – he was easy going and fun. Harry seemed to like him to, which was even more important because he would be partly controlling Harry’s public image for at least the next few years.

It was comfortable with all five of them. They all fit in a certain way; even though Louis was the only one Harry hadn’t met through work. It was good, and Louis wouldn’t mind having many more lunches like this if he wasn’t paying for them. To his luck, Harry offered to pay for his bill. Louis feigned putting up a fight, but gave in. Eventually Liam and Niall said that they had to go back and Harry needed to prepare for his very last show of the European tour, his last one for a while. Liam had already gotten Harry some performances on a couple of shows and other holiday performance, one where Harry would be performing a new single that he would be recording.

Both Zayn and Louis would be going to the last concert, and the five of them had made plans to visit a fancier club and party. Liam, Niall, and Harry all made their way to the stage where Harry would be performing, and Louis and Zayn went back to their flat to get ready for the concert.

It took a while for Louis to find a shirt nice enough to go partying with a six-month pregnant belly in the way, but after they had finished getting ready Liam got a cab for them to go to the show. They were taken backstage once again, having to flock over to Niall, Liam, and Harry talking. Niall was sharing stories about the reasons why he and his many ex-girlfriends had broken up over the years.

Harry had a different laugh, his normal laugh, for people who weren’t Louis. His normal laugh was had a tinkle sound too it, kind of quirky and awkward. It was still more adorable than anything though. When Louis made him laugh though, it was a straight up giggle. Louis loved hearing both sounds almost more than anything else in the world (excluding their baby’s heartbeat of course).

Louis was going to be staying backstage for the first part of the show, being able to greet Harry when he went off stage for a few moments. Harry gave Louis a peck on the cheek and a flirty smile before going on stage. Kind of weird, but Louis wasn’t going to complain. The four of them sat around backstage, chatting and answering questions when the crew needed any help. He and Niall worked on how he and Harry were going to announce the baby, and Niall was pretty set with the cheesy Instagram picture. Louis finally agreed, because he liked Niall and he was good at his job. Harry could’ve gotten a much worse PR manager.

Niall and Zayn left to go get some snacks, leaving Louis and Liam to sit and talk.

Louis and Liam hadn’t really gotten along at first. Liam was just starting out in the industry, and Harry was the first act he was taking on without having his father there to guide him every step of the way. Liam wanted to do it by the book as much as possible, and he didn’t enjoy having another person in the recording room. Louis had supported Harry with his music since the beginning, and that meant not sugar-coating things. Harry was the most talented person he had ever met, and he wanted his songs to only show his true passion and talent. He felt strongly in giving Harry his opinion, and most of the time he had nothing but praise to give. But he knew what Harry’s best work was, and he wasn’t afraid to call him out if he wasn’t up to par.

Liam didn’t really like any extra opinions. Louis kept his mouth shut most of the time in accord to his opinions on Harry’s music, but sometimes things were too much to handle. Louis might not be a professional musician like Harry, but he knew what he was doing, at least slightly, and what sounded good. Even tiny little suggestions pissed Liam off, until Liam brought Zayn in and Zayn had agreed with Louis. Liam finally lightened up after that, and he and Louis were pretty good friends, even if they hadn’t seen each other much recently. Zayn had gotten Liam to loosen up majorly, and Louis was convinced it was a god-send. Liam was so much more fun and playful than he used to be, and was now someone Louis wanted to hang out with, not just tolerate.

“What did you think of the show last night?” Liam asked.

“Amazing, of course,” Louis smiled. “Harry was born to be on stage and everyone can tell that.”

“Really? No suggestions, comments, ideas?”

“Shut up. You’ve done really good, everyone that’s worked with him has. Don’t get mad at me for wanting the best for me boy.”

“He’s your boy now?”

“I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut.”

Liam laughed. “Fine. But, in all seriousness, he’s never been happier to go on stage when he knows you’re in the audience. He’s so different when you’re around.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“He’s just… different. Happier. I’ve never seen him more stressed out than when you weren’t talking to him. He was convinced that you hated him when you wanted to separate or whatever, and that it was because you had slept together. The night when he went out and got drunk was the worst. Spent all night goin’ out to every bar I could think of since he wouldn’t tell me where he was, only to find him curled up in his bedroom. He was a mess, mate. I don’t know how he managed to pull it together for all the shows he had. But when you’re around he’s himself, you know? Silly, carefree. The way you look at each other is kind of disgusting.”

“Excuse you. We look at each other like any normal best friends do.”

“Didn’t know best friends slept together to then raise a baby with each other, but alright. I mean, you do have feelings for him though? More than friendship?”

Louis should’ve expected this. He wasn’t exactly trying to hide the fact that he was completely head over heels for Harry, Harry was just good at being totally oblivious. He was pretty sure that Zayn knew that he had deeper feelings, but he had never questioned him. And he trusted him to not tell Liam if he did think so. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it,” Louis lied. He had definitely thought about it, even having children with Harry. But not in the way it was currently happening.

“That’s utter bullshit. You can’t tell me that you’ve been best friends with Harry for five years and never once though _what if we got married?_  I might believe you if you weren’t currently six months pregnant with his baby. It’s okay if you do. I mean, once again, you are kind of pregnant with his kid.”

“Are you going to force me to tell him if I did have feeling for him? You can tell Harry about being a dad, but you can’t force me into telling him my feelings.”

“Louis… you know that’s not how I wanted things to be. But isn’t it better that he knows? He wants to be there for you so badly and he’s trying so hard.”

“I don’t know. Harry would’ve been able to focus on just the tour, instead of figuring out what he was going to do because he found out he was going to be a father. I’m glad that I’m with him and we’re friends again, of course I am, but things would probably be better if the baby wasn’t his and I could just raise it on my own.”

“How the hell would that be better? Your kid has, what, a deadbeat dad who doesn’t give a shit about them and watches you struggle to make ends meet every day? You’re telling me that you would rather be knocked up by a total stranger, someone who could have the worst genetic lottery ever for all you know, than your best friend.”

“Of course that’s not what I want. I just want what’s best for Harry, and I wish I could be sure that telling him was the right thing to do.”

“Well, you probably never will know. You told him, and you can’t take that back. You’ll never know what it would have been like if you hadn’t eventually told him, just like you can’t know what it would have been like if you told him earlier. You can’t change the past, but I’m betting more than anything if you hadn’t told him all it would have created is a lot of misery for the many parties involved.”

“Yeah, well,” Louis said. He didn’t really have anything else to say with that. Liam didn’t say anything more since Zayn and Niall came back with some snacks a few moments later. Harry came backstage a couple of times throughout the show, smiling at Louis before he ran into the toilets quickly or grabbed a snack and then went back on stage. Harry was finally finished wrapping up the last minutes of his shows, coming backstage to take a small break before he would go outside to meet fans and sign autographs.

They had always joked that Louis would be the first one in line, but Harry didn’t need Louis like that now. He had thousands of fans that were just as supportive as Louis, but maybe not in the same way. Harry was so happy that he got to make other people happy with his music, somehow influencing their lives in any shape of form. It still blew Louis’s mind that people wanted to meet Harry. They were excited to take pictures with him and get stuffed signed, not that Louis had ever expected anything else. Of course there were people who weren’t near as lovely, but Harry was never one to dwell on the negative. He had learned to shake it off when anything bad came his way and Louis wished he was as strong as him.

Harry came back after his giant round of applause to end the show, immediately running over to Louis and bringing him into a hug. Not to say that Louis minded, but he felt that something was off with Harry. He felt things were off with everyone, really. Louis hugged him back, being careful to put enough space between the bump. They talked about the show and what a great tour it had been, and how there would be many to come. Louis didn’t think he could possibly be any prouder of Harry.

They all stayed to help with the clean-up of the show, but eventually left and went to the bar that Niall had insisted on going to for their night out. The bar was clearly meant for hard-core partying, which Louis didn’t really feel comfortable going into while carrying a six month fetus inside of him. Still, it wasn’t actually that crowded and people seemed to split up into larger groups, so their group of five could stick together easily. Niall led them over to the main bar, where he ordered four beers for the people who weren’t pregnant and could drink. Harry stopped him, though, saying that he wouldn’t be drinking that night since Louis couldn’t and it was his fault after all. Niall rolled his eyes at him and told the bartender to drop one of the orders. Louis knew that he had to look awkward inside the club, nervous and with a tiny baby bump. Still, he was an adult and could do what he pleased.

Liam and Zayn went straight to ordering shots, drinking them down and heading to the dance floor. Niall was chatting with a short brunette girl over on the side, leaving Harry and Louis awkwardly at the bar.

“I’m going to go sit down at one of those tables, yeah?” Louis told Harry.

“I’ll come with you,” Harry replied. The sat down at one of the tables on the sides, Louis checking his phone quickly to see if he had any new messages. He replied to the one from his student and put his phone away.

To say the next few minutes were uncomfortable were an understatement. Louis could feel that Harry was keeping something from him. Harry was still as nervous as he had been that morning, even though Louis didn’t know why. Everything was working out in the best way possible.

“Is there something wrong?” Louis asked, thankful that it was much quieter in the corner than by the bar.

“No. Nothing, just kind of weird for the first tour to be over though. I’m already supposed to be writing new songs and having one ready by December,” Harry answered, giving Louis a small smile.

“That’s plenty of time. You’ve come up with amazing songs in less time.”

“Yeah, well, I certainly have a lot more material to write with now than I did a few weeks ago.” They stayed silent for a few moments.

“You can have a few drinks, Harry. I won’t mind. Just because I can’t doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. You have a reason to celebrate,” Louis argued.

“Lou, I’m fine. I think I can go without drinking for a few months. You know I don’t like drinking that much anyway.” Louis knew that it was true to some extent. Harry didn’t like drinking when he was happy, but he would always welcome drowning in alcohol if he was anything but.

“You won’t hurt my feelings.”

Harry sighed. “I know. I’m still not having a drink tonight.” Louis didn’t have anything to say after that, so he checked his phone once again while Harry stared at him. Zayn texted him that he was on his way back to Liam’s and would be taking the next day off from school. Niall was still talking to the same girl he had been the whole time, and Louis knew that the night wasn’t really going anywhere.

“I think I’m gonna get a cab home. Call me when you get back?” Louis said.

“I’ll just join you. I think Niall can handle himself here,” Harry responded. They went outside of the bar in the chilly air, Louis being glad that he had layered up so much. Harry got them a cab and they got in, Harry taking Louis’s hand in his and keeping them both warm. The silence in the cab was much less awkward than in the bar. They sat together, holding the other’s hand like it was the more normal thing in the world. Louis was so fucking happy. For the first time, Louis was glad that he had told Harry about the baby. It might not be the best timing or the person Harry wanted to have children with, but it had happened and they were dealing with it. Louis loved the tiny person inside him that was a mixture of him and Harry – and he knew that Harry loved her just as much. He couldn’t wait to see Harry holding their daughter for the first time. He wanted to see Harry look at something so special, the person that they had created together, like he looked at everything else he loved.

If Louis was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would be able to love anyone like he did Harry again. He felt like they were soul mates, even if Harry felt it only in a platonic sense. They fit together and no one had ever made him happier. If Harry wasn’t going to be the father of any future children, Louis had a feeling that this would be his one and only.

Harry squeezed his hand and smiled at him, and Louis melted right there. He wanted Harry to kiss him and marry him and have so many more babies with him. He just wanted _Harry._

“We’re here, Lou,” Harry said. Harry paid the cabbie and Louis got out of the car with him, still holding on tightly to his hand.

They entered the building and took the lift up to Harry’s floor, but before Louis had the chance to say goodbye for the night Harry asked, “Come into the flat with me?” Louis was in no position to say no to Harry, even though he wasn’t taking the next day off like Zayn and needed to get to sleep. Louis nodded and Harry took out his key to open the door to the flat. Louis immediately pulled off his shoes and lay down on Harry’s couch.

“I know this is weird, so if you’re not comfortable just say so, alright?” Harry said, clearly reluctant to ask Louis whatever he would say next. He slowly sat down beside Louis, his body stiff and awkward. Louis didn’t think there was much that Harry could ask and Louis wouldn’t do.

“Ask away,” Louis replied.

“I was just… wondering, if maybe I could touch the bump? You don’t have to say yes though, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t have to ask, Harry. It’s your baby too; you can touch her whenever you want,” Louis said. He responded by setting his legs over Harry’s. He pulled up his over-sized t-shirt up just to uncover his tummy, and took Harry’s hand in his to place it over his bump. Harry smoothed his hand over his stomach, lightly putting pressure in the middle. His deep concentration was broken by a huge grin.

“Wow,” Harry stated. Louis definitely understood. He smiled and suddenly felt a little kick against the inside of his tummy, causing him to jump a bit. “What was that?” Harry asked.

“I – I think I just felt her kick. I had felt little flutters before, but she really kicked this time,” Louis said, smiling up at Harry. Harry grinned even wider if that was possible, and he pressed his hand up against the bump once more.

“That’s amazing, Lou. This still doesn’t feel real, if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s still hard to believe that she’s inside me, and we’ll get to meet her in only a few months. God, we have so much to prepare still. She’s going to be here so soon and I already love her so much,” Louis said. He had no idea why he felt so emotional, the mood swings were supposed to have subsided by now. It probably had to do with the fact that he had to process that he and Harry would be pretending to be in a relationship just for the public. Harry’s hands were warming up on his belly, and his light touches felt amazing. He should also probably not be getting turned on by Harry touching his baby bump, but whatever. He was allowed to be horny and emotional.

“Do you want to stay here tonight? Once again, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I kind of miss us having our sleepovers.”

“Umm, yeah, if you’re sure that’s okay,” Louis replied. Harry grinned at him and they went into Harry’s bedroom. Harry stripped his shirt and trousers so he was left in his boxers. Louis knew that Harry usually slept naked, but he was thankful that Harry was okay with covering more for when Louis was sleeping over. Louis got out of his t shirt and jeans, and then headed over to Harry’s dresser to pick one of his shirts as pajamas. Harry’s shirt felt a little smaller on him now that he had the baby bump, but it still practically swallowed him whole. Harry popped a movie into the DVD player across from his bed and said that he would go make some popcorn for the two of them. Louis crawled into Harry’s bed, sighing at his overly expensive mattress. Harry came back with the snacks and the movie started playing, Louis nuzzling up into Harry with Harry’s hand curled protectively around his bump.

Louis wanted to stay in that moment forever. He felt as if he and Harry could have been any normal couple in that moment, being excited to have a baby and raise it together. All Louis really wanted was Harry’s happiness. And he knew that Harry loved their baby because there was no universe in which Harry didn’t love his own child, but that didn’t necessarily mean that Harry was happy. It was an unplanned pregnancy with someone he wasn’t even dating – the person that left him just because Louis was scared of being rejected. Being rejected would hurt a billion times worse than before, now that they had slept together and were going to have a baby in a few months. He wanted Harry to be so in love with the person who was pregnant with his baby that he was going to burst from happiness. That’s what he had imagined with Harry ever since he met him, and he didn’t want it to be any other way. It hurt knowing that it wasn’t going to be that way because of him.

“Harry?” He asked, making sure he had his attention. Harry’s face was currently buried in his neck with both hands around his bump, his thumbs stroke just above his belly button.

“Hmm?” Harry hummed

“Are you… Do you think that you’re happy?”

Harry took his face out of Louis’s neck, bringing his attention to look at Louis. “Why do you ask that?”

“I don’t know. I just want to make sure. You know that all I really want is for you to be happy, and whatever you want to happen.”

“Louis… Of course I’m happy. My career’s just starting out and I’ve got you back in my life, with you having my baby. That’s so incredible, Lou. I love you and our baby so much, and I love my job and friends so much. This is the fucking dream. Are you not happy?”

 _No,_ Louis wanted to say, _I want to somehow get over you so I can stop pathetically pining over you while carrying your child._ “No, I am. It’s just… the baby wasn’t planned. You don’t even have one doubt in your mind about this? I mean, it might not be too late to look into adoptive couples.”

Harry stared at him like he was out of his mind. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Of course. I mean, think about it, you haven’t really had time to think about the options. We haven’t thought about it together like we should have. We both want what’s best for the baby, and maybe that means giving it to someone who really wants it.”

“Are you saying that you don’t really want this baby, Lou?”

“No! I’m just saying that maybe we’ve been thinking about this all wrong. Maybe we’re being selfish.”

“I don’t see how we are. We want what’s best, and I don’t see why you think that giving her up would be the best option. Maybe it is selfish to want to watch her grow up and be close to you at the same time, but I also know it’s the best option for her. We’re both financially stable and we love her. Why shouldn’t that be enough?”

“I don’t want you to realize that you made the wrong choice later. I can’t deal with that Harry, I can’t have you walking out on us three months in.”

“Lou… you know that I would never do that to you. We’ve both wanted kids since forever, and now we’re having one. Just because we’re not married and this isn’t a planned pregnancy doesn’t mean I don’t want this baby. I want her so, so much. I can’t wait until she comes and we can hold her and take care of her, even if I have to get up five times a night. It’s our baby, Louis. I thought you wanted that, too.”

“I do. I do. I’m scared, though.” Louis turned around to wrap his arms around Harry and bury his face in his long torso. Of course he wanted that. He wanted whatever Harry was willing to give him. And maybe Harry was right. Maybe he did feel the same way about the baby, because who wouldn’t? Even with Louis’s insecurities, he knew that deep down Harry loved him just as much as he loved Harry. Probably not the same way, but it was still a strong bond and Louis wouldn’t give it up for the world. Harry kept his left hand rested on the baby bump, stroking it softly. He put his other hand around Louis and pulled him in as close and they could go, feeling Louis’s wet tears against his chest.

Louis was thankful to feel completely content in Harry’s arms for the moment, letting his fears ease away and wanting to stay this way with him forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this isn't crap? All disclaimers taken. Thank you to everyone who's left any sort of feedback!


	5. Chapter 5

Soon the two of them (three?) spent most of their free time in each other’s presence, especially since Harry’s calendar was completely clear with his tour over.. They would eat dinner at Harry’s and talk about their day, comfortable with their boring routine. Louis would always be comfortable with Harry. It became a small habit for Louis to end up sleeping over at Harry’s over the weekend, bringing over some of his papers to grade and Harry busy scribbling away at some new lyrics.

Louis always felt an increase in the baby’s activity when he was around Harry. Eventually Harry felt the baby kick at his hand when he had been slowly rubbing Louis’s bump. Harry had looked so damn happy, and Louis knew that he was going to be the most amazing father ever. Just because their baby wasn’t planned didn’t mean both of her parents weren’t going to love her till the end of time.

Things were calm within the Styles-Tomlinson group, and all was right in the world. Louis knew it wouldn’t be that way in a few months. His due date was going to be here much faster than they thought. Louis’s search for apartments wasn’t going well and he had no baby supplies whatsoever. Harry would probably need to think about getting a whole other set of supplies if they were to be sharing custody. Double the cribs and clothes and diapers, Jesus Christ.

Louis knew that he needed to bring it up with Harry. They had to talk about what their plans were at some point, but Louis had been putting it off. It was going to hurt to actually say that they were going to be sharing custody – Louis didn’t want there to ever be a day where he wasn’t there to comfort their daughter. He had no idea how the legal aspects of custody worked, and he probably wasn’t going to want to deal with them he had just had a baby. If things got bad he knew Harry potentially could bring things to court, even though there was no doubt in his mind Harry would ever do that. He would never want any of the three in their future family to go through something like that.

Those were just “what ifs”. Sure, things could happen before the baby was born, but it was highly unlikely. Louis wanted to be as prepared as possible. That meant knowing who she was going to be staying with while Louis had paternity leave, because he knew she would probably be staying with Harry on weekdays since he had almost no work schedule. During his paternity leave he would be home all the time, though. While their daughter could stay with him during the time being, it wouldn’t be fair to ask Harry to drive who-knew-how many hours a day to see them in Louis’s flat. So, the point was that Louis had absolutely no idea what he was going to do. He didn’t even have his own damn flat.

Hopefully that would be about to change. Louis had the next two weeks off for autumn break, and he had taken stride and gotten all the work done that he needed. He had emailed several landlords about looking into the flats, and had gotten a couple of appointments to have a tour of the building over the course of the break. He wanted to ask Harry to come with him to see the flats too, since his baby would be living there a good portion of the time after all. He should be able to have some sort of input, and Harry was much better at looking at the details in flats that would matter. With Harry, all Louis would really need was his negotiation skills.

Louis opened up Harry’s flat with the key Harry had given him and peeked inside. He could smell breakfast in Harry’s kitchen and went in the area. Harry was there wearing a black apron with his hair tied up in a messy bun, concentrating on the eggs before him. He looked fucking breathtaking, and Louis had no idea how that was possible.

“Smells good,” Louis commented.

Harry looked up, surprised. “Oh, hey. I saw your text and I didn’t know whether you had already had breakfast or not, but knowing you it was probably something awful. So I thought I might as well take the morning to cook if you wanted an omelette?”

“I’d love some,” Louis said. He saw an omelette already finished and hot on the kitchen table. He got a plate out of the cupboard and went to go eat. They tasted like heaven, of course. “I was wondering if you were free today?”

“Yeah, I’m free. I need to work on some songs, but the deadline isn’t until the end of the week,” Harry answered.

“Oh, well if you need to work on something that’s okay…,” Louis tried, finishing his first omelette and now working on a small piece of bacon.

“No, I’m free. Seriously. I was probably just going to hang out with you anyway, since you were going to come over here. I assumed you would be staying pretty much all day since you have break.”

“I actually have some appointments to go look for flats. I mean, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I just thought I would offer. It’s more fun when you’re there.”

Harry seemed confused when Louis said that he had appointments for flats. He swiveled around, leaving his food, and looked at Louis curiously. “What are you talking about?”

“Flats. You know, living areas,” Louis laughed, but Harry seemed undeterred. “I can’t live with Zayn when I’ve got a month old baby living with me too. He was nice enough to let me move in as it was, I can’t ask him to let me have a whole other tiny person living there. It was supposed to be temporary, anyhow. It’s better to get it out of the way now so I can start working on a nursery before she comes.”

“Why can’t you just move in with me?” Harry said, like it was obvious that Louis knew that and it had been their plan all along.

Louis paused. “Now it’s my turn to ask you what the hell you’re talking about. When did ever discuss me moving in with you?”

“Never, until now. I mean, I guess it’s wrong for me to assume that you were moving in here before the baby was born, but I had. You spend practically all of your time here anyway. It would be so much easier, I don’t see at all why we shouldn’t. We won’t have to drive to see each other, we can talk to each other easily. I thought it was the most logical option. We’ve practically lived together for five years, and it’s even better to share the flat with a baby on the way.”

“Harry… that’s a big deal,” Louis explained, clearly not convinced by any matter of means. Did Harry even think about what he was saying, what it would mean for both of them?

“How is it a big deal? You come over every single day, Lou, you sleep in my bed more often than not. If you want the second bedroom you can have it, and the third bedroom can be worked into a nursery. But you know I would be fine with us both in the master bedroom obviously. It’s whatever you want. I was just thinking, why should we buy double the furniture when we would be perfectly fine in the same flat? It’s not like we’re divorced and can’t stand each other’s presence.”

“Are you out of your mind? Fine, so we move in together. We split the bills, buy expensive groceries and fancy essential oil diffusers to make the air smell nice. Even if I had the money for that, that’s still a lot to take on. With separate flats the other one could take the baby for the night and the other one could get a break. I’ll even pay for cab fares; it’s still going to be cheaper than living with you,” Louis knew that he was reaching desperately. Harry didn’t actually buy that many expensive items, and Louis wouldn’t even be paying for them. His bills were almost identical to Zayn’s, which Louis was already paying for half. Louis had already been saving up to buy furniture for the many items the baby would need, and he was thankful that he now had Harry to support him financially. He was grateful for Harry’s offer, and for everything that Harry had done for him. This was part of why he didn’t want to live with him, to intrude so majorly in his safe area where he wrote so many beautiful songs. Louis already felt bad enough sleeping in his bed almost every night, but there was part of him that couldn’t help it. He could imagine that he and Harry were together and completely in love, and that this baby was something planned that they were so damn excited for and had no doubts about wanting her. He felt comfortable with Harry’s arms around him every night, cradling where their baby was safely inside of him.

“Lou, I get that you’re scared. That’s perfectly okay.  I just… I think it’s what would make us the happiest, yeah? If you really don’t want to, than fine.”

“Harry…”

“I want you here, Louis. It’s been such a blessing that you’re only one floor from me. I can see you whenever I want. Spending time with you is my favorite thing in the world, and I know that I’m never going to get tired of it. I would try and make it as easy as possible. You don’t have to pay for rent or anything really, if that’s what you’re worried about. You know that this would work out so much better, and I want you to move in with me.”

Louis sighed, trying to keep his stress down as to not affect to baby. She was already pressing small kicks inside of him, and he didn’t want her to notice anything else was wrong. “Okay. I’ll think about it,” Louis replied, still not making eye contact with Harry.

Harry bit his lip and gave a small nod. “Yeah, of course. It’s okay if you don’t want to, Lou, really. But I don’t want you to be making the wrong choice for the completely wrong reasons, okay? I love you and I want you in my life in whatever way possible.” Louis seriously doubted that, but he let it slide. Even though all he really wanted was a good cuddle from Harry, he was also mad at him. He finished and got up from the table. He went to the door and left the flat, practically running up the stairs to get to his room.

He lay down on his bed and rubbed his belly, trying to get the baby to calm down as much as possible even though he knew it wouldn’t work. Eventually the baby finally slowed down and he only felt a couple of tiny flutters. He didn’t want to think about Harry, or see Harry, or hear Harry. Louis wished that he didn’t love Harry as much as he did, because he felt it was only causing him heartbreak now. He knew that was never true though, and Louis would spend his entire life pathetically pining for him and raising their baby together if it meant Harry would keep him in his life.

That was why Louis didn’t want to move in with Harry. Logistically, moving in with Harry made complete sense. It would save them the most money and they could save it for their daughter or something else. Louis was just scared of what would happen in the future.

He couldn’t possibly ask for Harry to stay celibate for the rest of his life just because they had a baby together. Louis hoped that he would eventually get over Harry and could maybe start a serious relationship once their daughter was a bit older. Harry was different, though. He had met some many more people through his work, rich and good-looking people. There was no universe in which Louis could measure up to them. He might’ve been good enough for Harry when he was just starting off with his career, but he was rapidly moving up the ladder. Louis didn’t want to raise a child where her father would be bringing his boyfriend home every other night. Not that Harry would do that, but still. Louis didn’t want to admit that he would probably be the worst off – being heartbroken with whomever he choose. Louis would be genuinely happy for him, he would. He wanted Harry to be happy and have the life that he deserved.

Louis didn’t want to acknowledge that in five years’ time Harry could be engaged, or married, or any number of possibilities. How long would living in Harry’s flat really last, when Harry would be bringing over any number of significant others? Not only that, Harry would probably want to have more children down the line. Louis didn’t even want to think about that. Having to see someone else pregnant with Harry’s child, Harry being in love with them the way Harry never would love Louis. Louis wanted it to be him _so badly._ He wanted that life with Harry – supporting him for as long as they lived and having more children and being so damn happy. Louis knew Harry wouldn’t push him aside purposely, but it was going to happen sometime and Louis didn’t have the means to prevent it like he used to. He couldn’t tell Harry that he wasn’t allowed to see his daughter.

Louis didn’t want to feel like less. He didn’t want Harry to see their daughter less, to _love_ her less, just because Harry had knocked up someone he didn’t love in a romantic way. It was possible, no matter how much Harry would say it wasn’t.

Louis heard Zayn’s footsteps come from the hallway and then a knock on the door. Louis wasn’t in any mood to talk right now. “What do you want?” Louis moaned outside the door. Zayn opened the door, his smile wider than Louis had ever seen it, but it fell once he saw Louis pathetically on the bed cuddling his pillow.

“What the hell happened here?” Zayn asked.

“I went over to Harry’s and we had a bit of a spat,” Louis said, burying his face in the pillow. There was no way he was going to cry in front of Zayn.

“Ahh,” Zayn sighed, slowly walking over to Louis’s bed and sitting beside him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Harry wants me to move in to his flat so we’ll be set up before the baby’s born,” Louis said into his pillow, barely loud enough for Zayn to make out what he was saying. Zayn sighed, but didn’t say anything. Louis took his head from the pillow and looked at Zayn. “You knew about this, didn’t you?”

“Well, I knew that he was planning on asking you. But since you hadn’t been asking about flats recently I thought you might’ve gotten it settled out with him,” Zayn admitted. Louis wasn’t very happy with him, but he didn’t look too angry either.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew you would’ve gone all out at Harry. If you found out from me that he wanted you to move in there was no way you would’ve believed me. You would’ve just sat moping in your room, pining for him and thinking he’ll never want you and picturing him getting married to a bunch of other people, even though you know deep down he won’t.”

Louis wasn’t going to say how right he was. “I wouldn’t have moped.”

“You’re moping right now, mate. Look, I need you and Harry to get your shit figured out so life can go on for the rest of us. Either move in with him and pine or whatever you plan on doing, or live inconveniently all the way across town and still pine, but now have an abundance of cab fees.

“Shut up. This isn’t about the pining anyway, and I also don’t pine.”

Zayn laughed. “That’s bullshit if I ever heard it. I know you don’t see why, but it would be the best for you and Harry to live together at the moment. Even if your arrangement only lasts a year, you’d still be better off. It would be the best for all of you, including the baby.”

“I know that. I know. I’m still scared, and no matter what I do I’m going to end up getting hurt. I’m going to end up saying yes, and saying yes every time he asks me to do something. Hell, he could ask me to be his best man at his wedding and I would say yes. You know it comes down to that, and I hate that I can’t change anything about it. I want Harry to be happy, but I don’t think it’s selfish to want my own happiness as well. The baby and Harry will always come first, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish there was a way for us to all be better off.”

“Lou, Harry loves you and you love him. I know you don’t want to tell him how you feel, even if think it would solve a lot of problems the two of you have. But living with Harry is the least of your worries, yeah? You’re going to have a baby with him soon enough, you practically lived together anyway. You haven’t been spending the night at the flat at all, and there’s nowhere else for you except Harry’s. Hell, I’m in a relationship and I spend less time with Liam than you do with Harry. Admittedly we’re not having a kid, but still. You both need to sort yourselves out. Are you still going to the appointment to see the flat?”

“Ah, shit. I kind of forgot about that. I guess I should tell them I’m not going to come anymore,” Louis said, turning over into his pillow once again. Zayn smiled at him and left from his bedroom. Louis brought out his phone and texted the landlord, saying that he had found a property recently and wouldn’t be making the meeting. At least his search for flats was over.

Louis felt slightly better from the morning and felt guilty for leaving Harry like that. Only thirty minutes had passed since he had come from Harry’s house, but he supposed he should go over to tell him that he was accepting his offer. Zayn was sitting down at the table with his laptop, looking over his students’ grade and putting in new stuff.

He quickly looked in the mirror to check if he was presentable, and left the flat. He didn’t text Harry that he was coming this time, deciding to just show up at his door.

Louis took the stairs down to Harry’s floor and walked over to his flat, knocking on the door since he was too nervous to just open it up. He heard Harry’s footsteps approaching the door and then him opening it up, Harry looking confused as to who would be there.

“Louis?” Harry questioned. Harry had taken his apron off and was now in a plain t shirt and jeans, his hair still tied up in a cute little bun. How did Harry always manage to look like sex on legs?

“Hey. I was wondering if we could talk,” Louis said. Harry nodded and Louis came into the flat, the two of them simply standing in the entrance way. “Are you absolutely, positively, one hundred and ten percent sure about me and the baby moving in?”

Harry began to lighten up after that, realizing it wasn’t something that was overly serious or worrying. “Of course I am. I wouldn’t have offered to if I wasn’t. I would _prefer_ if you did, actually. But it’s okay if you decide not to,” Harry encouraged.

“I want to move in with you,” Louis finally said. “But only if you’re completely sure.”

Harry gave a small laugh and pulled Louis into his arms. “I am completely sure, never been surer of anything else,” Harry let go and they walked into the living room. “This isn’t a bad thing, I didn’t think. I love you and I love our baby so incredibly much, maybe more than humanly possible. I want to be there for both of you in whatever way you’re going to let me.”

Louis wished that he could tell Harry how much he did want him in his life. To be able to spend the rest of his life with him, to marry him and be able to love him. Louis loved him so goddamn much and he didn’t ever want their time together to end, wanted to be with Harry and their baby forever.

“It’s not, I promise. I just… there’s so much work to do, god. She’s coming in only three months and I have no idea how we’re going to do this Harry,” Louis admitted, burying himself into Harry’s chest on the sofa.

“We’re going to get through it like everything else. Together, and probably last minute. But that’s okay. We’re going to figure things out, Lou, I have never been more determined to. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you or the baby. You don’t need to look for flats anymore, though, so we could move your stuff in tomorrow and then start setting up the nursery if you wanted to? Would that make things better? I’m willing to do whatever, Louis.”

Louis still clutched to Harry’s shirt, but brought his head up and smiled at Harry. “Yeah, that sounds good. I barely have anything in the house anyway, just m’ clothes and some papers. I’m mostly worried about the baby stuff. And changing addresses _again,_ plus figuring out how finances are going to work now that we’re having a fucking baby. Ugh, I kind of hate being an adult right now.” Harry laughed, putting his hands around Louis’s waist to touch his baby bump.

“You know that finances are the least of my worries. I’m perfectly fine with paying for all the supplies, you are the one who’s carrying the baby after all. If you want to pay for it, though, we can talk about splitting up the bills for everything. Maybe we can start a joint bank account, or you could request that I pay child support in case things get messed up and we separate. Just a few ideas.”

…

Louis was incredibly thankful that he had almost no items for personal use. Moving two times in a little more than half a year was stressful, especially with a baby on the way. He had finished packing up enough items to last him the night at Harry’s, even though he could’ve gone without the items and packed them in the morning.

The only thing he and Harry hadn’t discussed was if Louis was going to be taking the second bedroom or not. Louis didn’t actually want to take the second bedroom if it was up to him, and even though Harry had said they could share a bedroom (and a bed) he felt slightly uncomfortable accepting the offer. He was already going to take over Harry’s entire flat practically, and on top of it giving him a baby that would take up even more space. Louis wanted Harry to be able to have somewhere safe and comfortable for him to lie down and write music, or just relax. Not have to worry about another person coming in his room to get ready for the night. Besides, they could still cuddle as much as they wanted too. Louis just wouldn’t be so in the way, and they wouldn’t be sharing the same bed. If Louis’s whole plan was to get a completely separate flat, he should definitely take the second bedroom. That way he and Harry could both have a small workspace in their bedrooms, even though Louis felt guilty that the third bedroom was going to be made into a nursery. Harry was the one who had invited him, but Louis felt like he was forcing Harry to have him move in.

Louis and Harry slept in Harry’s bed for the time being, since Louis was procrastinating putting on the actual bed sheets in the bedroom. They had easily moved his stuff the first day, quickly packing up a few boxes with his stuff in them and giving a quick goodbye to Zayn and Liam, who had spent the night.

Louis had finished unpacking his things the same day, hanging up his clothes in the small closet in the second bedroom and setting up the work desk in there as well.

Louis knew how well he and Harry fit together. He never felt like he had to work at his relationship with Harry – it was common knowledge that they were going to be best friends for as long as time itself it seemed. Just because they were best friends, though, didn’t mean that Harry couldn’t replace him with one of his future significant others. But Louis was definitely not thinking about Harry with anyone else at the moment. They had just moved in together and were having a baby in just three months. Things were so incredibly good with Harry, and Louis never wanted it to change. It felt like it never would when Louis was curled up with Harry in bed, Harry always softly rubbing his bump. The baby had become more responsive than ever to Harry – knowing exactly when his hand was on her and when he hummed lullabies when he and Louis were going to sleep.

Louis was just kind of hoping that Harry wouldn’t notice that Louis was sleeping in his bed every night. Once he was used to having Harry with him every night, it was kind of hard to break the habit. Especially when it was a habit he didn’t want to break, if it were up to him. Still, once there were several boxes of new furniture to build Louis decided that he should set up his own room. Even having separate rooms was more inconvenient, but he and Harry were working on a schedule of who would wake up and take care of the baby once she was born. As long as Harry was comfortable with things, Louis would be happy. Either way, Harry didn’t question why Louis randomly starting sleeping in his own room again.

With Louis (practically) set up, he and Harry wanted to start working on the nursery. Louis knew Harry had a much better eye for aesthetics and such, so he and Zayn were working on what the nursery would look like overall and he and Louis would get to pick out individual furniture pieces. He and Harry had already bought most of the items online so they would be shipped straight to the flat and they didn’t have to worry about transportation. The two of them had invited Liam, Zayn and Niall over to help set up the nursery with the promise of a free lunch and overall companionship, even though they would’ve said yes to the invite anyway.

They finally “came out” to Harry’s followers on Instagram. Louis was surprised at the amount of support they had, not that Louis was complaining. It was weird, though, having thousands of comments on his Instagram (which had more than tripled in followers since he posted his first selfie with Harry). They weren’t actually in a relationship, but thousands of people thought they were and wanted them to actually be together. Including Louis himself, but having a relationship required consent from both parties. Harry’s Instagram had blown up even more when he put the picture of his hand on Louis’s bump, kissing Louis’s cheeks with his eyes closed and Louis looking at the camera.

There was the initial backlash, but there weren’t a lot of people who didn’t support them. There wasn’t anything they could do, and they got over it and moved on to different things. Louis wasn’t glad about the fans that Harry had lost, but at the same time he probably didn’t want those kinds of fans anyways.

Louis was glad that something good had come out of their… accident. He was so happy about their baby anyway, but he was extra happy that it could be used to help Harry’s career instead of hinder him completely like he thought it might. Things were looking up, and Louis thought it was probably too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. All mistakes are my own, hope you all had a good break!


	6. Chapter 6

With all of the furniture having arrived at the flat, Harry and Louis decided to have a “nursery” party. Zayn, Liam, and Niall were coming over for the weekend before Louis’s break would end, giving him only a few more weeks to go before he would be off for paternity leave at the start of Christmas break.

Harry had spent the week setting up each piece of furniture in a different part of Zayn’s flat; since that was the main thing they had been working on. Harry was complete shit at reading the directions, but Louis would sit there and tell him which pieces to put together to get something built. It still took way too much energy, so Niall and Liam had been on building duty while the rest of them would be putting up the temporary wallpaper and going through clothes and toys. Zayn had been kind enough to offer to paint the furniture they had gotten for the nursery to fit the theme and had painted them as their gift, so the building had already been completed and the only thing that needed to be done to the furniture was take it down a floor and set it up in the nursery.

Louis and Harry had spent the morning at Zayn’s, where Liam stayed the night, and the four of them sat and ate breakfast. They ended up each saying the most embarrassing story they had about Niall since the most of them had known him for much longer than Louis had, but Louis was happy and he loved to hear Harry having fun. Niall eventually arrived around lunchtime to help with moving furniture, requesting a cold beer before they got started.

They each had a beer (except for Louis and Harry) and got to work moving the furniture through the flat to get it out the door and into the lift to bring each piece into Harry and Louis’s flat. It didn’t take them that long to get all of the furniture into the nursery, and they then began to set up everything else. They put up the temporary wallpaper and completed any finishing touches on the wall so they could move the furniture in its permanent spot. They ended up taking a break before having to sort through all the clothes and toys, deciding on somewhere to pick up lunch. Harry offered to pick up the food once they had ordered, and soon enough he had left the flat to go get the food.

The four of them were left, each either sitting on the floor or lounging on the different pieces of furniture they had previously set up. Louis was clearly the most tired even though he had barely done any work since the others refused to let him strain himself when he was almost seven months pregnant.

“So, how have you and Harry been so far?” Liam asked, getting straight to the point. Of course all his friends would use this time to pressure him to do something better with his life, or some other thing.

“As good as you would expect, I guess. Things have been good in my opinion. Then again I’m getting his cooking every day of the week, so that might have something to do with it. I’m pretty sure the mood swings have gone down as well. I let Harry and Zayn do pretty much all of the decision making on the room’s décor, all I helped with was picking out furniture,” Louis answered, answering all the questions he knew would be asked so he could get them over with already.

“How’s it been living with Harry?” Liam questioned, furthering the discussion.

“Good. I don’t really have a lot to say. It hasn’t been that big of a change.”

“Have you been thinking about names?” Niall asked. Louis shook his head, because of course they hadn’t. Getting the nursery done had been their top priority for the while. “I mean, you’ve known it’s been a girl for a while and you have tons of time with Harry.”

“It just hasn’t really been on our minds. We’ve just barely got the nursery set up, Ni. We still have tons of time to think about names.”

“I know, but still. You can never be too prepared, right?”

“Do you think you’re going to tell Harry that you’re in love with him?” Zayn asked. Louis hadn’t thought he would have been so blunt, but he knew the question was coming.

“Are you fucking insane? The only thing that would happen if I told Harry about my feelings for him would be that I would probably get kicked out, or it would ruin our whole relationship. I’m not going to do that when we’ve just moved in together and are having a baby in three months,” Louis explained.

“You don’t know that,” Zayn insisted. “And besides, there’s no way in hell Harry would kick you out, he’s way too far up your ass for that. You might as well be married for Christ’s sake, moved in all together and having a baby. Neither of you are getting laid, so there’s literally no downside to being in a relationship with Harry, which is actually the only thing that would happen if you told Harry.”

Louis sighed. “It doesn’t matter, Zayn. Just because I have feelings for him doesn’t mean that I want to be in a relationship with him. I don’t regret getting pregnant by any matter of means, but you know how nervous I was about telling Harry about the baby in the first place. I don’t want this ruining his whole life, or for things to be awkward around us. I know that we can stay friends, and that will last as long as it needs to. I have confidence in our ability to raise a kid together as friends, but I have no idea how things would turn out if we did actually enter a relationship. Things could go completely sour six months in, and I don’t want us to have to raise our baby when we’re bitter with each other. It’s better off to play it safe, at least for the baby.”

“C’mon, Lou. If you and Harry couldn’t make it as a couple, then no one could. You two are so oblivious sometimes, I just don’t see why you shouldn’t take this chance.” Louis stayed silent for a moment, trying to let the stress roll off of him, but before he could answer he heard Harry unlocking the door with the food.

“Food’s here!” Harry called from the entrance, Niall quickly jumping up to go into the kitchen. In hindsight, Louis and Zayn probably shouldn’t have had a whole deep discussion like that in front of someone that Louis had barely known for a month. Louis, Liam, and Zayn all stood up as well and made their way over to the kitchen, sitting down and getting them some of the pasta Harry had gotten. Louis sat down with his healthier pasta that Harry had gotten specifically for him (“You’ve got to keep eating healthy for the baby, Lou”), but Louis hadn’t minded as much since all the pastas pretty much looked the same.

It’s not that Louis minded Harry looking after him, because he didn’t. Louis needed Harry to keep him on track because he wanted the best for the baby, and between hormones and being his usual stubborn self he couldn’t always make the best decision health-wise. Harry grounded him, as always.

Louis opened up the pasta and got a fork from the small caddy set up, glad to dig into his lunch since he was starving. However, he was always starving and had to blame it on being pregnant. Harry blamed it on that, too, and Louis wasn’t one to question Harry most of the time.

Their flat had been almost all set up, only a few small boxes of knick knacks left in Harry’s bedroom that didn’t really have anywhere to go except a storage closet. Even though Harry and Zayn’s flats were practically identical, Louis could admit he liked Harry’s better. Maybe it was the fresher fragrance instead of constant paint, or maybe it was just because Harry always made him happier. Not that Zayn didn’t, but Harry made him happier in a different way. With Zayn, he could just sit there and have someone to talk to. Zayn was soft and warm and made him feel grounded. Harry just made him feel like he was floating on air. He and Harry could do anything together, could completely change the world. Harry made him laugh and he wanted to make Harry smile every second of every day. Louis never wanted to move out. With Zayn it was a house, temporary. With Harry it was a home, but Louis suspected it would feel like that no matter where they were living.

The five of them ate dinner and joked around, talking about the new song that Harry needed to write and Niall’s potential new girlfriend. They eventually went back into the nursery, putting all of the (many, many) pieces of clothes Louis and Harry had gotten over the past few weeks. They put the toys in their chest, and then went back out to play some videos and continuing to chat. Niall, Liam, and Zayn soon left after that, Louis telling Zayn how grateful he was that he had painted the furniture so beautifully.

Louis didn’t think he had ever been more exhausted in his life after they left, his feet and back hurting. All he really wanted was some tea and a massage and cuddle from Harry. Thankfully, Harry had read his mind and offered to give him a massage after seeing that Louis was stressed and in pain. Louis gratefully accepted, because who the fuck wouldn’t? Harry left the room to go get the bottle of massage oil he had in his bedroom, saving it for when Louis might need it since he knew he might during his pregnancy.

Louis laid on the couch and sat up when Harry came into the room, both of them smiling at each other. Harry sat on the couch and Louis sat in between his legs, sitting up straight so Harry could reach his whole back.

Louis was definitely having second thoughts about getting a massage from Harry. For someone who was getting turned on by Harry doing so much as brushing against him (or doing anything domestic, so, all the time) this might not have been the best idea if he didn’t want Harry to know that he desperately wanted him. It didn’t help that the massage oil Harry had gotten was specifically for “a sensual evening,” as the saying on the bottle said. Harry lifted Louis’s shirt off of him and threw it on the floor, the cold air hitting Louis immediately.

This was certainly on Louis’s top ten worst ideas ever, but he couldn’t bring himself to get Harry to stop. He just wanted a massage, and hopefully Louis wouldn’t get hard if he kept his mind off of the situation. Harry uncapped the massage oil and poured a small bit into his hands, rubbing it in to coat his hands and warm it up.

Louis was surprised that he didn’t come the second Harry put his hands on him. He had been pretty deprived of physical human contact since he and Harry weren’t sleeping in the same bed anymore (which he was definitely not thinking about), instead leaving him all alone with only his hand to occupy him. He would be lying if he didn’t think about the night when he and Harry had slept together a lot. It was surprisingly good material for Louis being drunk off his ass, yet he remembered the night well. The sensations, the pure ecstasy that Harry had given him during that night.

He clearly wasn’t too good at the whole don’t-think-about-sex thing while Harry had his smooth hands all over his back. Harry kneaded the knots out of his back, his hands coming to rest on his shoulders and back over his shoulder blades. His breath was hot on his back, and Louis was absolutely not thinking about how it would feel to have Harry’s mouth around his cock. Harry pressed his hands lower down Louis’s back, trailing his fingers lightly over the small of his back and going back to pressing in between his shoulder blades. Fuck, if it wasn’t the hottest thing Louis had ever experienced in his life.

There was no way that Louis could get away with anymore of this, his cock clearly tenting up in his baggy joggers.

“Harry,” he breathed, his voice raspy. If Harry didn’t realize that he was halfway hard, it could be considered a miracle. Harry moved his hands down to the middle of his back, digging the palms of his hands into where the knots were. “Harry,” he said, this time more urgently.

“Hmm?” Harry murmured, still rubbing the tense areas of Louis’s shoulders.

“I – I think that’s good enough,” Louis whispered trying not to reveal the uncertainty in his voice so Harry wouldn’t question him. “You can stop now.” Harry gave one last tough to Louis’s shoulder and took his warm hands away from Louis.

“Sorry, guess I got a bit carried away. Felt good though?” Harry asked. While the massage had made his back pain go away, the sexual frustration he would have to endure because of it didn’t seem worth the trouble. All he really wanted was for Harry to take him right there, to fill him up and remind him how good it felt once again. He hadn’t had sex since their baby had been conceived, and he was extra horny with all the hormones. No matter how many times he tried to think about someone else, he would always come back to Harry. It was pure torture to have gotten a small taste but not be able to get the whole thing.

“Yeah, definitely. Thank you,” Louis said, trying to get himself in order enough to get up off the sofa. He calmed his breathing down to a normal level and got up off the couch. He took his shirt off the floor. He didn’t wait for Harry to say anything more, and went straight for his room.

…

Louis woke up the next morning feeling loads better. He checked his phone for any new messages and slowly got out of bed. He ruffled his hair so it wasn’t its crazy bed-head mess, and then went into the kitchen to make some tea for himself.

Harry was sitting in a chair in the living room, listening to music on his phone and writing something down on one of his notebooks.

“Morning!” Harry said cheerfully, making Louis groan in response. He loved Harry, but him being a morning person was not something he was always up to deal with. Harry kept smiling at him as he made his way into the kitchen, pouring some water in the kettle and letting it boil. “Anything special you want to do today?” Louis had just had what was quite possibly the longest week of his life, and he had no desire to make any contact with the human world.

“As long as I don’t have to talk to anyone, I’m fine with whatever thing you have planned. Or going outside, now that I think about it,” Louis said, already knowing that Harry was up to something, even if he asked questions like that all the time.

Harry grinned at him. “Niall mentioned to me last night that we haven’t thought about baby names. She’s going to be here before we know it, and I would rather we be prepared. I don’t want us to pick something completely weird just because we’re off on like, having a newborn, if that’s a thing. And then we can make sure we’ve thought about it and such. I’ve actually started making a list already.”

Louis hummed, pouring his hot water over the tea bag in his mug and letting it steep.

“So? Do you like that idea?” Harry asked. Louis yawned and sat down in his seat, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Let me see the list so I know what you’re looking for?” Louis requested, and Harry brought over his notebook with a list of several names written in it.

_Baby Tomlinson-Styles_

_Alexandra_

_Isabella_

_Gabrielle_

_Scarlett_

_Victoria_

Those were the names that Harry hadn’t decided to mark out, along with several notes and scribbles he had written alongside of them. Harry clearly wanted a fancier, classic name, and while Louis was okay with all of the names Harry had chosen, he didn’t think any of them were the right one. He thought the name that would best fit their daughter would be one that combined classic and modern themes in it.

Louis and Harry both spent the day relaxing, talking, and looking at the few baby naming websites Harry had pulled up on his tablet. They worked on a list together, going through the names they did and didn’t like, and then using process of elimination for the list they had finalized. After the whole day and a passive aggressive argument at dinner, Harry and Louis decided on Evelyn Lucy as their daughter’s name, Evie for short.

Having an actual name for their daughter felt surreal. She would be there in only a few short months, a living, breathing baby that needed their love and care. He and Harry were literally having a human child that was a little bit of both of them – someone who wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t slept together that one night. Louis couldn’t imagine his life without Harry or Evie, now. He would still be sulking in Zayn’s flat with nothing to do. While a baby was a huge responsibility, Louis felt like he was ready for it. She might not have been planned, or have happened in a convenient manner whatsoever, but Louis loved her as much as humanly possible and he wanted her so badly.

He was glad that her last name hadn’t been an issue. Louis wanted her to always have a connection to Harry if he was going to be in her life. She could change it later if she wanted to, but Louis hoped that Harry would always be there as a positive force in her life. He wanted her to meet Anne, and Gemma, and have the big family that Louis always had and loved if he wouldn’t be able to give her siblings any time soon.

She felt so incredibly real than. She was inside him, safe and protected. Soon she would be out in the world and could meet her other father and see all the wonderful things the world had to offer. Louis wanted to protect her forever.

…

Louis was with Harry at the recording studio when he first met Aidan. It’s not like Louis was doing much, just helping Liam out with Harry’s new recording. Louis sat there listening to Harry sing about love and happiness, everyday emotions that everyone felt. Not that it was a bad song by any means, it was quickly becoming one of Louis’s favorites. Harry had played it for him the first time, admitting that he had been thinking about the baby when he wrote the song. While it could be about anyone, Harry was going to say it was a love song for Louis when he was asked about it publicly. Harry had written songs for Louis, albeit platonic ones, but Louis was glad that Harry was writing a song about their baby. It made everything more special.

Harry had just finished recording, ready to go out for a lunch break with his two friends when there was a knock on the door. Louis knew that Harry knew who it was, but he didn’t seem overly pleased to see him. Liam looked at him through the glass and motioned for him to come in. He opened the door and playfully poked his head in.

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he smiled.

“Course not, come right on in. We were just taking a break,” Liam said, and turned to saved what they had o the project so they could leave. Harry came out of the booth and stood by Louis, casually putting his arm over the top of the chair Louis was in.

The man walked in further and stopped by Liam, looking straight at Louis. He reached out a hand to Louis, which he took and shook to greet him. “Haven’t seen you round here, especially with dear old Harold. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you’re Louis?”

“Umm, yeah,” Louis answered.

“Good to meet you. I’m Aidan. I’m Liam’s father’s assistant, but I like to come around every so often just to see everyone. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Louis could admit that Aidan was very charming. Maybe not in that same way as Harry, since Aidan had an almost regal air about him. If it were any other time or place, Louis probably would have tried to chat him up and get him to agree to at least a few dates. But he was obviously pregnant and not in any mood to be starting a relationship when he would be having a baby in almost no time. “Nice to meet you, too,” Louis answered.

Aidan quickly turned back to Liam. “I was going to see if you were up for lunch, but maybe another time?”

“No, now’s fine. You guys won’t mind if Aidan tags along?” Liam asks Harry and Louis. Louis politely shakes his head no. The more the merrier, right?

“Umm, I guess not,” Harry finally answered, tightening his grip around Louis’s chair as if that was somehow going to bring him closer to Louis. The four of them picked up their items to head to Liam’s vehicle, with Louis and Harry sliding in next to each other as soon as they got in.

Lunch was odd, to say the least. While the food was delightful, if not a bit too salty, and Liam kept a comfortable conversation between them going. It became clear to Louis that Harry wasn’t too fond of Aidan. While Louis liked him immensely, every  time they exchanged some banter Harry’s smile would fall off his face. Harry had never been particularly jealous of anyone specific in Louis’s life. He was protective, even more so with their baby on the way, but Louis had never seen him like this with anyone. Louis didn’t mind. While he liked Aidan and any other time could definitely see some kind of future with him, Louis was in no position to be thinking of anything like that now. He would have to fall out of love with Harry before he even began to think about loving someone else like that.

Harry and Louis bid the group goodbye so they could head back home. Harry had taken Louis’s hand in his, clasping it tighter than ever. Harry was silent, and Louis couldn’t take it anymore.

“Harry… You don’t have to be jealous of Aidan,” Louis comforted. After all, it wasn’t Aidan that he thought about when he was in the shower jacking off.

“I’m not jealous of Aidan. He just… pisses me off, alright? I don’t want his disgusting hands near me or you, much less our baby,” Harry explained bitterly.

“Alright, then. I don’t see why you had to be so rude. We were just talking.”

“You might have been. Aidan doesn’t talk to everyone like that, though.”

“So what, he’s going to flirt with the almost eight month pregnant person?”

“Well, when you put it like that. But it’s not like you’re going to be pregnant forever. Eventually you’ll find someone else and things will… drift apart. I should get used to the feeling.”

Louis knew all too well the feeling that Harry was describing. When they were still in uni, Louis had kept a platonic stance with the people he knew. Harry was much more open with flirting and having his fair share of one-night stands. Louis minded, but Harry was never disrespectful about it and they kept to themselves about their sex lives. Even so, Louis never pictured himself to be the one who would get into a relationship as quickly (if at all) once the baby was born. He hadn’t really expected for him to be the one getting in a relationship, so he didn’t think about how it might affect Harry.

“I’m not going to just leave once I have the baby. I don’t even know if I’m going to ever be in another relationship, much less anything when I’ve just had a baby. I know that relationships with others could be in the future, but I thought it would be further off. We should stick to trying to raise our daughter first and then think about other things. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Let’s just forget about it for now though?”

Harry gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand as Louis slid in their key to their flat. They could let it go for now.

…

Louis couldn’t help but fall in love with Harry a little bit more every single day, and he had no idea how that was humanly possible. Harry was already proving himself as the best father anyone could ever ask for, and Louis felt slightly guilty about it. He wished he could show Harry how much he meant to him – tell him that he was never going to leave his side for as long as Harry wanted.

But Harry wanted to find his soul mate, get married and have the best marriage ever, and then have the cutest kids possible. Louis had ruined all of that by getting pregnant. He wanted their baby to have the best life. He knew that Harry wanted the same thing, but he didn’t know how it would end up working out. Harry and Louis would eventually go their separate ways when Harry was ready for another relationship, and Louis didn’t want to stick around for his heart to be crushed even further. He wanted to give Evie the best life he could possibly give her and more. He couldn’t imagine her not in his life anymore, she had completely changed it. He wanted to meet her so badly, to see Harry hold their daughter for the first time. Louis was getting too emotional just thinking about it.

Louis was finally on his gigantic paternity leave since winter break had begun. He was by no means any less busy, however, carting himself to Harry’s various performances and accompanying him to several of his rehearsals. Louis didn’t mind. He got to spend time to talk with Niall, Liam, and Zayn a good portion of the time, or he could spend it reading up on all the books he hadn’t got the time to finish earlier in the year. He loved talking with Harry during rehearsals, when Harry was excited to be performing and an overall ball of sunshine.

Louis would never take for granted that he got to see all sides of Harry. The gentle Harry who managed to look like a small puppy wrapped up in blankets, the drunk and loud Harry that sang pop songs in clubs and shouted that he loved his life, just because he wanted people to know. He got to see Harry when he was fully concentrated about writing music, thinking carefully about the next words and making sure they fit in with the song the way he wanted them to. Louis loved every single side there was to Harry, even when he was grumpy and didn’t want to get out of bed, or he was angry about some miniscule thing. Louis loved Harry, and he wanted to be with him forever, however unlikely it was.

The cab pulled up to the building and Louis went inside and up to his and Harry’s flat, opening it up to find Harry nowhere to be found. Louis assumed that he was in the shower as he sometimes was when he got back home. Louis set his bag down and went to get a cupcake that he and Harry had made the night before.

In all honesty, he didn’t want to see Harry. Louis tried to keep himself calm, he knew being stressed was not at all good for the baby, and slowly licked the icing off of his red velvet cupcake. His back and feet were killing him, but there was no way he could ask Harry to give him another massage after what had happened the last time. It would probably be better to go in his room and have a wank while Harry was in the shower, so he would be less likely to hear Louis’s screaming his name while having three fingers inside him. Louis honestly wasn’t in the mood to get himself off though (well, his dick was, but his level of energy said otherwise), just wanting Harry’s long fingers and pink mouth to be put to work instead.

Fuck, Louis was totally going to cry. He was having a baby with the love of his life who would never love him back. All he wanted was to have someone fuck him and tell him that he was amazing, and he wanted that person to be Harry but it couldn’t be. It never would be. Louis was going to cry. He wanted to get away from Harry, to never have to see his face again so to not get his heart broken every time he looked at him. How could Harry be so blind? Did he not see the way Louis looked at him, how badly he wanted him? Louis was a big boy, he could take rejection. That’s what he told himself, at least.

He hated Harry’s delicious cupcakes, and his beautiful music, and when Harry smiled his just-for-Louis smile. He hated the way that Harry was so passionate about helping people, how amazing he already was as a father.

Louis never wanted to lose him, but that wasn’t an option. Louis couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe and he wanted out of this. He wished he had never met Harry and Evie would never be part of their lives, wished that Harry was just some celebrity persona that he saw in the tabloids. Love fucking hurt, and he couldn’t breathe.

Harry came in the living room, his hair still damp and his torso uncovered. He remained calm and unaware of Louis, instantly becoming the concerned person he always would be if he thought Louis was uncomfortable. “Lou? Are you okay?”

Louis kept his hands covering his face, his breaths short and shallow. He felt Harry sit beside him and pull Louis into his arms as best as he could with Louis’s bump. “Love, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just tell me what happened and we’ll fix it. It’s okay. Just calm down, Louis. I’m here now and we’ll figure it out. Please tell me what to do,” Harry said, panicking and clueless as what to say. Louis sometimes had anxiety attacks when they were both in uni, but they had subsided greatly and Louis had done a lot better with dealing with them. Something had to be seriously wrong if Louis was acting this way, and Harry just wanted to make it better. Harry pressed his forehead against Louis’s and had them breath together, like he used to do when they were younger and Louis had an attack. Louis’s breath calmed down after a couple of minutes of them breathing together, Harry keeping his arms around Louis tightly. Louis buried his head into Harry’s chest while Harry moved his hand to smooth over Louis’s hair in hopes of it being calming.

Louis kind of hated himself in that moment. He should never have let his anxiety get bad to where he had an attack because it could harm the baby. But he felt a hard kick inside of him, as if the baby was letting him know that she was there and still fine. Harry was warm and safe and everything Louis needed. Louis would always choose having some part of Harry than having none of him any day. They stayed cuddled together in the same position for what felt like hours in silence.

“Lou, can you tell me what’s wrong? Do you need anything?” Harry asked.

Louis shook his head which was still lodged by Harry’s chest. “Just stay with me right now.”

Harry understood and wrapped his arms around Louis’s shoulder, letting Louis move his head so his breathing space was more open. “Harry… you love me right?”

“Of course I do. And there’s nothing that’s ever going to change that. I love you so much, and I love our baby. I’m always going to be here for you.”

Louis smiled at Harry’s sentiment, but was serious once again. “And we’re best friends?”

“Yeah. It’s been that way for five years.”

“I’m so scared, H.”

“I know. I know, but it’s going to be okay. I’m here forever, and we’re going to get through it. Our baby is going to have the best dads ever, you know that? We love her so much already, and I know our lives can get hectic sometimes but that’s the fun part. We’re going to give her everything possible, and it’s going to be the best time of our lives,” Harry comforted.

“I don’t want time to pass anymore. I just want to stay here with you and her, knowing we’re all safe. I don’t want things to change.”

“Things are only going to change for the better, though. In a month we get to meet Evie, and it’s going to be the best moment of our lives. We’re going to raise her together, and it’s going to be perfect in its own way. There’s going to be bumps on the road, but we’re going to get over them together. Things are changing the way that they should be.”

“That’s bullshit, Harry. You can’t tell me that we’re going to raise her together, because in the end we’ll be separated.”

“What? Do you not want to raise her together anymore?”

“No – it’s just that eventually we’ll go our separate ways. You said it yourself. I don’t want this to be something that holds you back, Harry, that’s never what I wanted for you. I love you, but that doesn’t change anything. I just want you to be happy.”

“And why shouldn’t I be happy with you? I love you as much as humanly possible and I want to be there for you through whatever is thrown at you, at us. Louis, I’m in love with you and that changed everything. We’re having a baby. There is no world out there where I would choose someone else over you and our daughter. It’s always you, Louis, and it always will be.”

“Harry, stop,” Louis panicked.

“Stop what? Louis, I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so fucking in love with you and I want to be with you.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t say that you’re in love with me.”

“Why shouldn’t I? I’m telling you the truth. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way about me, I just thought that maybe you did. You deserve the whole world and I fucked that up by getting you pregnant, but I am trying my hardest to make it better. I don’t want you to feel like this baby was a mistake. You act like you don’t deserve happiness and that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

“Harry…” Louis said, more tears stinging his eyes. “I’m in love with you, too, but I don’t want you to feel like I’ve forced you into a relationship. I want to be with you so badly I can’t bear it, but I don’t want us to fuck it up and ruin everything. I love you too much for that.”

“Who says we’re going to fuck it up? I want this so badly, and you are in no way forcing me to be with you. I want to be with you, I’ve wanted to be with you for the last five years. You’re everything, Lou, and I was so scared that I had ruined our friendship when you told me you were pregnant. I thought that you had regretted that night, and maybe you still do, but I wouldn’t take it back for the world. If anyone can make it in this world, it’s us. I’m going to choose you every single day and even after that. I don’t want us to have to pretend to be in a relationship just to save my image, I want it to be real. I want to go out in the streets and scream from the rooftops that I love you and you love me back and we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

Louis didn’t know what to say. Harry wanted to be with him. Harry wanted to be in a relationship with him and kiss him every morning and tell him that he loved him when he went to bed at night. Harry wanted to be with him. This was the moment Louis had been waiting for since he had first met Harry on campus, all doe-eyed without a care in the world. “Kiss me,” Louis said.

And Harry did.

…

Obviously, things changed quite a bit after that. Louis and Harry had confessed their love together and had made a silent but mutual decision to be together for the rest of their lives. In the end, there was no other way.

After Louis and Harry had untangled themselves, they had eaten dinner, watched a bit of telly, and then went into Harry’s bedroom. Even though Louis was horny as fuck, it would be way too awkward for him and Harry to have sex that night, and on top of it he was completely exhausted. He and Harry had gotten out of their clothes and simply spooned in bed before going to sleep. When Louis woke, Harry had been absent in the bed and was making breakfast in the kitchen. Louis had checked his phone messages quickly before he had planned on getting out of bed, and in that time Harry came in with a tray of food and set it down before Louis.

“Breakfast in bed?” Louis teased, although he wasn’t going to pass up staying in Harry’s bed and eating food that he had prepared.

Harry smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You love it,” he grinned. Louis smiled at him and began to dig into one of his pancakes. “Hey, Lou?”

“Hmm?” Louis hummed, glancing at Harry.

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but, umm, I was kind of wondering if you would do me the honor of being my boyfriend?” Harry asked, biting his lip and smiling.

“Our Facebook status already says otherwise, babe. But yes,” Louis answered. Harry reached over to give him a kiss.

“Good.”

…

Harry had been on top of the world for his performance to night, or it at least seemed so to Louis. Harry always had amazing stage presence, but Louis could almost feel his happiness and warmth radiating off the stage. Harry sounded beautiful singing his new single, not that Louis had ever thought otherwise. He couldn’t believe that the man singing up there was his _boyfriend,_ the father of his child. This was everything that Louis had ever wanted and it was unbelievable that he was here. He would have never dreamed it a year ago, but he would never want to change it.

Zayn and Liam were there at the performance, giving Harry and Louis a chance to invite them over for a bit that night. They stayed in and told Zayn and Liam about their new official relationship status. The other two were obviously happy for them and gave them their many congratulations, but also said that it took them about five years too long.

Louis and Harry retreated to bed, happy and tired. Harry gave Louis a foot massage once they were in bed, though this time Louis didn’t have the energy to get turned on like he had before. Foot massages were also just not as sexy as back massages. Louis had a feeling that he would never feel safer than when he was in Harry’s arms.

He was glad that Evie wasn’t kicking as much as she normally did – his sleep patterns were getting worse and worse. He wanted a good night’s rest, if not for him than for Evie. Harry had become overly protective of Louis now that they were together and he “had the right” to, since Louis was both his boyfriend and the father of his child. Harry kept up with Louis better than Louis kept up with himself, making him warm meals and making sure he was cozy. Harry would often send different items to Louis at work, most often a small letter reminding him how much he loved him. It was sappy as fuck, but at the moment Louis didn’t mind. As long as it was with Harry, it only felt amazing.

They had been in bed for only a couple of minutes, Louis on his back with Harry’s hand over his bump. Louis was way too close to falling asleep when Harry started talking.

“Louis? Are you awake?” Harry asked.

“Mmm, yeah,” Louis said groggily, yawning and turning his head to see the silhouette of Harry’s face. His curls fell to his shoulders. Louis had he sudden urge to touch them, so he did. His hand ghosted over Harry’s hair and he softly touched his luscious hair. Louis was too tired to do this anymore.

“Are you scared?”                        

This worried Louis. Of course Harry had worries like everyone, and he had always told them to Louis. Louis didn’t want Harry to think of his fear first, even though it made him feel better to know that Harry wanted him to feel as safe and comfortable as possible. “I mean, yeah, of course. I’m pretty sure every first time parent is, even with planned pregnancies. But I know I have you by my side and we’re going to do our best,” Louis attempted, trying to reassure Harry in his abilities.

“Yeah, I know. But… what if I’m not a good parent? I haven’t had the experience like you’ve had, Lou. I don’t want to ruin our baby’s life because I did something stupid.”

“Babe, you’re not going to ruin our baby’s life. Evie loves you so much, and so do I. You make us so proud every day. And just because you don’t have younger siblings doesn’t mean you don’t have experience or will be a bad parent. You were meant to be a father, Harry. Every time I saw you with Doris and Ernest, or any other younger child, I know that you were meant for this. You love kids so much already, and you love Evie more than anything in the world. That’s so much more than some people have. Evie is going to be so lucky to have you as a dad. You love her and want what’s best for her. You’re staying in her goddamn life, and that’s way more than my father ever did for me. We’re going to make mistakes because there’s no way that we can’t. But we’re going to do our very best to make Evie the happiest person in the world. Okay?”

Harry didn’t smile at him, but his face relaxed and he nodded. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Lou. I can’t imagine my life if you hadn’t told me that you were pregnant. I’m so glad you did. I can’t imagine Evie not being part of my life. I love you, and I’m so glad that you told me. And for everything else you’ve done, ever. I’m so fucking happy and I want you to know that.”

“I love you, too,” Louis said. He didn’t know what else to say. That was all he really wanted was Harry’s happiness. And he couldn’t be more grateful that things had all worked out the way they were meant to. He was glad that he got the balls to go and tell Harry that he was going to be a father, even though it was mostly due to Liam and Zayn. He was so thankful for everything in his life.

“Are you happy?” Harry questioned, running his fingers across Louis’s belly.

“More than ever,” Louis whispered.

…

Louis had his last doctor’s appointment scheduled before he and Harry would be going to Doncaster for Christmas, and this time Harry would finally be going along with him. It’s not like Harry hadn’t offered to go, but before Louis had purposely made his appointments when Harry was busy. He felt guilty about it now, but at the time he hadn’t felt comfortable with Harry seeing him vulnerable like that. Not that he hadn’t seen it before, but now Louis knew that they were always going to be together and he was comfortable in every possible way with him.

Harry had still seen the sonograms that Louis got printed every month he went, plus the DVDs when he got him. He still hadn’t been there in person, didn’t see the baby when Louis was first able to see her, and never had the suspense of not knowing the gender. Louis might not be able to change the past, but he was going to use the present to set everything he possible could right.

Harry and Louis were currently in the waiting room, quietly talking to each other about how amazing being together was and looking at each other like they were the only ones in the room. Louis was so damn happy. Louis got to imagine that he was by Harry’s side, with Evie and maybe another baby along the way (Louis wasn’t going to get his hopes up, but still). Harry loved him back and he wanted to be with him. That was the most amazing feeling in the world, and Louis never wanted it to end.                 

Eventually his name was called and he and Harry were led into the exam room. The nurse checked his blood pressure and said that it was at a normal level, and all his other vitals were in check. Then a technician came in with the sonogram machine, letting Louis lift up his shirt to expose his large baby bump. She squirted the gel on his tummy and began to spread it around with the wand, showing the picture on the screen. Harry sat in a chair by the bed that Louis was laying on holding Louis’s hand tightly and occasionally pressing his lips to their intertwining hands.

Harry looked so fucking happy to see Evie on the screen, more human-like than ever, curled up and healthy while safely inside Louis. This was what Louis had wanted all along – to make Harry happy. And Louis was so grateful that it was with him. The doctor confirmed that their baby was perfectly fine, and the couple scheduled when their final appointment would be before the baby was finally there. They left with another picture of their daughter, and in that moment it was completely surreal for Louis. He and Harry were going to have a baby that was the perfect mix of them – a little girl to dote on and try to make her the happiest person in the world. Louis couldn’t wait.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more part left!! hope at least some of you are still larries or at least want to continue this fic?? and a huge thank you to anyone who leaves any kind of feedback :) all mistakes are my own.


	7. Chapter 7

After the appointment Harry and Louis decided on going to a small bistro by their building. They would be leaving the next day to go to Doncaster and see Louis’s family for Christmas, and then Harry’s family would be coming a couple days before Christmas so they could all have the families together. Both Louis and Harry’s mothers had thought about having Christmas together before, but it had never happened until now. With Louis having properly moved out of his bedroom that had been since converted into a temporary guestroom and Lottie’s room being vacant since it was her first year in Uni, they were all able to squeeze into the Tomlinson-Deakin household. Thankfully Louis didn’t have to worry about how he was going to manage sleeping in the same bed as Harry for a couple of weeks, since he was already doing so. He hoped that Anne and Gemma wouldn’t mind sleeping either on the couch (no matter how comfortable it was) or in Lottie’s vacant room, but both of them had insisted it would be fine and they would rather sleep in the house to wake up early than sleep at a hotel and get there later.

They both ordered some hot soup and bread, and then talked about how this time next year they would have an eleven-month old daughter that they would be buying way too many gifts for. While for Harry that was no problem at all, Louis had much more to think about.

With his time off and no work to be done, Louis had a bit more time to reflect than he needed. He had spent most of his time with Harry, going with him to the various places he had to be and enjoying his time there. However, there were times when he was simply too tired to go anywhere and was stuck at home for self-imposed bed rest. He would think about Harry, or their baby, or how their life together was all unfolding. There was still one piece that Louis wasn’t very happy with. He loved almost everything in his life – his baby, his boyfriend, his friends, and his house. He was in no way complaining, but he still wanted to be completely satisfied with his life. The more Louis had thought about it, the more he detested his job.

Well, he didn’t detest it. He didn’t even really dislike it. If he absolutely had to be a teacher for every single day of his life, he wouldn’t really mind. He was always bored, though, and while it was everything he expected it was everything he _wasn’t._ No matter how passionate about teaching or about helping kids you are, there is no way for you to be successful in the way that you wanted to be. When Louis had first imagined himself as a teacher, helping kids to make music that would provide them a way or creative release and just be overall fun, he wanted that. Who wouldn’t want that? But the truth was that wasn’t how to real world worked. Not everyone liked him – not everyone loved music as much as he did. Even when he was with the kids who were passionate about it, it wasn’t as fulfilling as he had hoped it would be. All he could think about was how much he missed being in the studio with Harry, joking with Liam and throwing suggestions out that ended up making it in to the album. He felt a sense of pride about that, knowing that he helped Harry’s music for the better.

He was in no way ready to tell Harry that, though. He had spent practically his whole life thinking that he was going to be the best teacher ever, changing kids’ lives for the better and being a superhero. He never felt like a superhero when he came home, tired after dealing with a massive amount of pre-teens who didn’t care what they were doing. He felt like he was actually helping when he was in the studio, making music. If he were to quit his job, however, he and Harry would be losing a big part of their income. Admittedly, when they ended up working out everything with finances after they were officially together, most of his paycheck went into a savings account. While it was always nice to have the extra cash, they would be perfectly comfortable living without it. Louis had a giant weight taken off his shoulder in financial terms when he and Harry got together. Even though it wasn’t certain, he knew that He and Harry were a forever thing. He and Harry would be sharing their house for as long as they lived, and they could possibly have more children in the future (Louis wasn’t going to hold out on it, though).

They still had plenty of time, though. Louis would be getting the next four months off as paternity leave whether he was going to quit his job or not, and he wanted to spend the days he had before the baby was born in the best way possible.

He and Harry walked back to the flat and took of their coats, ready to spend the day together cuddling and watching telly. Louis hoped that Harry would mind a bit of making out as well. Even though it was only one o’clock in the afternoon, they both decided to change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle up together on the couch. Louis purposely turned on a bad channel that they had no interest in, and went to give an open-mouthed kiss on Harry’s collarbones.

They hadn’t actually talked about sex since they had gotten together, much less participated in any acts. While Louis didn’t have the best self-esteem because he was pregnant, he was still horny as fuck. He had been practically begging for Harry to fuck him, to blow him, to do _something_ to him when they had reunited.

Harry put his arms around Louis’s waist and brought them as close together as possible and looked down at him. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Lou,” he whispered.

Louis wanted him so fucking badly. Wanted Harry to just take him and wreck him, make him feel so good and full that he could combust. He loved him so much, god. “Harry,” He whined, and Harry brought their mouths together once again, putting firm pressure against Louis’s lips. Harry snaked his hands around to keep them at the small of Louis’s back, and Louis kept his hands intertwined at the nape of Harry’s neck. Harry slowly went further with the kisses, softly biting Louis’s bottom lip and opening his mouth more and more. Harry moved his hands down to Louis’s thighs, putting his hands on the muscles and squeezing. Louis groaned and bucked his hips up at Harry’s, wanting more.

“Fuck, Lou, we’ve gotta stop,” Harry said, pulling his lips from Louis’s. Louis’s eyes were dark and his lips were full, even though he showed annoyance by Harry stopping them.

“Is there something wrong?” Louis asked, still in Harry’s lap.

“God, no. I just – the last time we had sex, well, only time we had sex was eight months ago and now we’re having a baby because of it. I don’t want to pressure you or anything, especially if you’re pregnant. I just want to make sure that you want this,” Harry admitted.

“Harry, are you fucking kidding me? My hormones are out of control and I’m horny 24/7, with nothing but myself. I’ve wanted this since you came to my old flat and didn’t even know about the baby. You want this too, though, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. We’re really doing this?” Harry asked. Louis responded by putting their lips together once more and pushing their bodies as close together as possible. Louis kind of wished he wasn’t pregnant in that moment, because all he wanted to do was to feel Harry’s bare chest on his and grind on him. Harry began lifting Louis’s shirt, rubbing small circles below the bump. He took off his shirt completely, throwing it on the floor and returning to kiss him. Louis whined for Harry to take his own shirt off, and Harry happily obliged. Louis ran his hands lightly over Harry’s chest and trailed down to the line of hair going down his navel.

Without warning, Harry abruptly took his lips off of Louis’s and began going down his neck, sucking light love bites over his skin. Louis grinded down on Harry, wanting as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. He was already half hard between feeling Harry’s mouth against his collarbones and the suction on them, and the way Harry’s hand so sweetly rested above his hips. Harry got them to lie down on the couch, Louis breathless underneath him. Harry moved his mouth lower until he reached Louis’s extremely sensitive nipples, bringing his hand up to gently pinch to other one and breathe hotly over the other.

Louis moaned as he felt his cock get fully hard in his pants. Harry noticed and brushed his palm over the outline of Louis’s cock, then unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans to reveal Louis in his boxers. Harry brought Louis’s jeans down to remove them and throw them on the floor with the rest of his clothes, and shortly after doing the same.

“I… I want to eat you out,” Harry said, looking up at him and blushing. Fuck, this was way too much.

“Holy shit, yeah,” Louis moaned. Harry smiled up at him.

“Let’s go into the bedroom and get some supplies, yeah?” Louis nodded and stumbled off of him. They made it into the bedroom, Louis lying down with his cock hard against his tummy. Harry fumbled through his nightstand drawer to find what he was looking for. Every second of waiting for Harry to get the lube and condoms felt like pure torture, but he was back less than a minute later and his lips were once again attached to Louis’s collarbone. “On your hands and knees,” Harry ordered.

It had to be illegal for Harry to be like this, Louis thought. He complied, turning over and getting on his hands and knees. Harry had a full view of Louis’s round bum, and he experimentally squeezed it softly. Louis shuddered with pleasure, and Harry was able to be braver. He kept on hand on Louis’s cheek and lowered his hand down to Louis’s hole. He breathed over it, teasing Louis. He pressed the tip of his tongue at the center of his rim, then circled around it. Harry was almost nervous that Louis would nearly buckle over, but from his nods he kept going. He gave some small kitten licks around his rim, slowly dragging his tongue across Louis’s hot skin, watching Louis clench with pleasure. He nuzzled his face in a bit to give him hot open-mouthed kisses, dragging his tongue over Louis’s rim faster. Fuck, they totally should’ve been doing this sooner.

Harry’s tongue began to enter Louis’s entrance, barely pressing in. Louis moaned above Harry and Harry pushed in a little deeper. It wasn’t long before he was moving his tongue in and out repeatedly, Louis a complete mess above him.

“Gonna add a finger, alright?” Harry told Louis, asking for his permission. Louis moaned a quick “yeah” before Harry was back to work. He uncapped the bottle of lube and spread a bit on his finger, coating it fairly well and lowering himself down by Louis again. He put his tongue to use once more, fucking in and out of Louis. He finally added his finger, circling against the hot muscle. He pressed in deeper with his finger and curled it upward, hoping to find Louis’s prostate. After a few moments he pressed against the nub and Louis shuddered, panting.

“Fuck, I need you inside of me,” Louis moaned. It was time for Harry to moan, thinking of being inside of Louis.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked.

“Yes, I’m fucking sure. Open me up and get on with it already.” Harry quickly lubed up another finger and slid it beside his other one, scissoring Louis open. He added his tongue at the end, making sure he could make Louis as comfortable as possible. He fumbled around with the condom before opening and sliding it on himself, and then spreading a generous amount of lube on his cock.

“Wait,” Harry said.

“Are you kidding me? What now?”

“I… I want to be able to see you. Do you think it’ll work if you on your back?” Harry explained. Louis nodded weakly, flipping himself over as fast as he could. Harry brought their pillows beside him and tucked them under Louis’s hips so he would be more comfortable with the angle. He reached down to kiss Louis, long and slow and absolutely agonizing. He finally pulled away and lined himself up with Louis’s entrance, slowly pushing the tip into his tight heat. Louis let out a deep breath as he entered him, breathing heavily below him. “I love you,” Harry said.

“I love you,” Louis said. He didn’t know what else to say. All he could feel was the overwhelming love he had for Harry. They weren’t fucking, they were making love. And Louis was to make the best damn love ever. Louis rolled his hips a small bit, just enough to urge Harry to start getting on with things. He wanted to feel all of Harry, have them be more connected than ever. He wanted to burst because all he could feel was _harry harry harry._ Harry pushed in a little bit more, and it felt amazing. “I’m not going to break, you know,” Louis said.

“Don’t you dare guilt me into wanting to take care of you. You’re pregnant,” Harry joked, pretending to be offended.

“I know that. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go deeper or actually fuck me.” Harry sighed, and pushed in even deeper than he already was. He felt Louis envelop him in the inviting heat. He pushed in just a little bit deeper, knowing that he would be able to find his prostate. Louis felt Harry’s cock inside him brush over it, sending a bolt of pleasure through him. Harry started thrusting in and out of him slowly, angling himself to hit Louis’s prostate every time.

“Touch yourself,” Harry spoke from above him. Louis took a shaky hand and began to work his cock slowly, Harry continuing to fuck him and simulate his prostate. There was no way that Louis was going to last any longer. He shuddered into his hand as his orgasm came over him, clenching around Harry tightly. Harry thrust into him only a few more times before he was coming – Louis letting him ride out his climax inside of him.

Harry slipped out of him and took the condom off, tying it and throwing it into the wastebasket beside their bed. Louis was almost dead to the world already, sleepy and pliable next to Harry. “I love you,” Louis mumbled, snuggling into Harry’s chest as he came into the bed beside him. Harry just kissed his forehead and turned the lamp off. For the first time Louis felt like he actually got a good night’s sleep.

…

Soon, Harry and Louis had said their goodbyes to Zayn, Liam, and Niall before they were going to Doncaster for Christmas. Harry had packed all the gifts they had gotten, along with wrapping paper, gift tags, and bows. Jay would be picking them up in her vehicle and taking them back to her house so they could get settled in for the next couple of weeks.

Louis was impossibly excited for Christmas. He would be seeing not only his whole family, but Harry’s as well. He had always wanted to spend Christmas with Harry before, but it had never worked out between their schedules and living arrangements. Now, though, Louis and Harry were bound by blood and giving both of their families their first grandchild. Louis had always loved coming home for Christmas, seeing his mum and sisters and brother doing the traditional Christmas-y things they did, and having a break from classes for a bit. And to think the next year they would be carrying around Evie with them too.

They had many things planned over the holidays – from traditional Christmas cookie baking and dinners, to helping his mum with wrapping the presents for his siblings. Harry had planned a date night for them before Christmas Eve at Louis’s favorite restaurant in Doncaster.

Jay eventually arrived in her car and Harry packed up their bags and gifts in the trunk, and then slid in the back seat with Louis and Jay in the front. Louis and Harry hadn’t actually told either of their families about their new relationship status. Even though they knew every person in their families would be over the moon about it, they had decided to wait until Anne and Gemma were present as well. Louis had a feeling his mother would guess before that since it was impossible for the pair to look like they weren’t totally in love. She still would never get full confirmation until they told her.

Louis’s birthday would be celebrated just as normal, though it was the first time he wished he wasn’t actually spending it at home. Not that he didn’t want to be home, but Harry had promised that the first thing they would do when they got back was have an extra special round of birthday sex. Don’t blame him for wanting to get laid on his birthday, especially while he was pregnant. While Louis had loved having sex with Harry the past few weeks, but it was clearly taking a toll on his body and he seriously doubted he would be in the mood when he was due in less than two weeks. Then they would have Evie to take care of, which would put things back even further. Louis knew that it was part of the territory as a parent, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be upset about it. He knew it would be worth it in the end.

It was kind of awkward in the car since Louis’s mum still thought he and Harry were just friends, but they made it work. Maybe not awkward, but definitely guilty. He knew that his mother loved Harry, but she was worried about how things would end up between the two of them if they weren’t together. It’s not like Louis hadn’t worried about that too, probably a hundred more times than her. He knew how it sounded. Someone who’s only your friend, but you’re moving in together and having a baby to raise on top of it? Even though the situation was obviously settled now, Louis didn’t know if he would ever get over the fear of Harry leaving him. Louis could never imagine himself with anyone but Harry, and he knew that Harry loved him, but he was still insecure. Harry would tell him that he loved him so much and how beautiful he was and how much he loved Evie at night. He wished there was a way to know that he was the person that was going to make Harry the happiest – not some model on the street or a fancy and rich CEO. He wished he could truly know that Harry was going to leave him no matter what.

He looked over at Harry in the back seat, who smiled at him widely. His mother continued to talk about how she was thinking of adding on to the house. They all talked for a bit after that, Harry getting to tell his mother about the newest single that had come out, and Jay praised him for another amazing song. They got to the house and carried in their bags to the door. Louis hugged all of his sisters (Doris and Ernest were still asleep) and Dan. Harry was able to get hugs, too. Lottie and him got along well (Lottie would often say how she would rather have Harry as a big brother) and he fit in with the others just as well. Not to get ahead of himself by any means, but Harry was practically their in-law. After happily greeting the others, Harry and Louis carried their bags and the gifts into Louis’s old room. Louis’s old blue plaid comforter was gone, replaced by an off-white embroidered duvet cover and flannel sheets. The room had been repainted, covering all of the scratches where Louis had messed up the walls with putting up a poster or another. Harry and Louis set their bags down along with the gifts.

They went back into the living room and sat down, Harry letting Louis rest against his chest since he had been complaining of back pains earlier, although in reality Louis just wanted to cuddle. Jay looked suspicious about their closeness, but didn’t mention anything. They all talked for a bit, Louis and Harry passing around the most recent sonogram picture and sharing the name they had come up with. Jay cried just a little when she saw the most recent picture, telling Louis about when he was that small. It made him realize how lucky he was, to be honest. He loved his mother as much as one could, but she had also been through many struggles. He was so glad that Evie was going to have both of her parents. She would never have to go through what he did. Evie was going to have the best dad in the whole world.

For the first time, Louis was comfortable. Comfortable with his relationship with Harry, with Evie, with his life. He was happy and nobody could take that away from him. He loved everyone in the room and he was going to have his own little one to take care of soon, along with the most amazing man in the world. For the first time he didn’t regret at all sleeping with Harry that night in April. Harry was just as happy as him to have a baby, for Louis to be the father of his children. He was going to allow himself to be happy.

…

The week went by much too quickly for Louis’s liking, even though it was always that way around the holidays. For the few days in which Gemma and Anne weren’t going to be there, Louis hung out with his family, wrapped the gifts he and Harry had gotten for Anne and Gemma, and made out with Harry on his bed. He and Harry had very much contemplated whether they could get away with having sex with Jay and Dan only in the next bedroom, but just the thought of his mother having an inkling of a suspicion that they had had sex in his bedroom was near enough to prevent him from leaving his flat ever again. So, heavily making out it was, leaving Louis with too much pent up sexual frustration than was probably healthy. It was still better than when he had no one to make out with at all.

With only three days until Christmas and one until Gemma and Anne would arrive, Harry took Louis out to his favorite restaurant as a date. Even though he and Harry had had many outings during their friendship, he and Harry had never been on a set-up date. Although he had no qualms about going to into practically-married life with Harry, he thought it was quite romantic of Harry to set up something special for his birthday.

Harry and Louis had gotten bundled up in their winter coat. After Harry had called a cab and they had driven there, were finally seated at the restaurant. Louis had always loved the place since he was a boy, and Harry had grown to enjoy it when he had come to Doncaster the few times in the past.

It had that home-y feeling, warm lighting and rich earthy colours being everywhere in the building. Harry had reserved them a booth by the window, so Louis could see the snowy, slightly icy, streets outside. Louis looked out at the small crowds of people going by and into the theatre each bundled up fashionably and the picture of perfect. Louis and Harry ordered their meals, with Louis insisting that Harry try some of the fancy wine they served, even if Harry was reluctant to do so because of Louis’s condition. Harry talked about what he and Lottie had done so far, going on a special outing to buy gifts for Louis and Lottie’s future niece.

If soulmates were a thing, Louis was nearly convinced that he and Harry would be each other’s. They fit seamlessly into the one another’s life, and Louis couldn’t have been luckier. The father of his child loved him and wanted to be there for him, and Louis loved him back. Even though Evie hadn’t been planned, he felt like she was meant to happen. To bring him and Harry together to have their very own family. It didn’t feel like a mistake that they begrudgingly had to deal with, it felt like fate was working to make their lives fit together in the way it should have been all along. He wouldn’t have given Harry or Evie up for the entire world.

Their meals came out, piping hot and fresh, so they waited a bit for starting to eat their food. They continued to talk and eat their meals, Louis desperately wishing that they wouldn’t be home that night since Harry looked sinful. His dark hair looked gorgeous coming off his shoulders, and his hands twiddling with his fork a bit more than should be allowed. Louis knew that Harry was getting just as turned on as Louis, since Harry kept biting his lips and purposefully avoiding eye contact with Louis at times. It only made things worse. They finished their main course and even though Louis was totally full, Harry ordered a serving of a crème brulee for them to split. The waiter came out with the dessert and set it down in front of them. Louis reached for a spoon, but Harry stopped him.

“I… I want to talk to you about something, if you don’t mind,” Harry said, looking nervous. Just the words Louis wanted to hear.

“Umm, alright,” Louis responded, taking his eyes off of Harry. This conversation could go so many ways, and Louis didn’t really see one that was positive. Harry only wanted to “talk” when there was something career-related that would take him away from Louis for five months, or other kinds of bad news. Louis didn’t think Harry would be one to break up with him this early, even if he was starting to regret their decision to begin a relationship. They had a fucking baby coming in less than a month, and he knew that Harry wasn’t going to walk out on them like that. Even if Harry was breaking up with him, Louis would never be able to understand why.

“You know that I love you, right? Please don’t ever doubt that. And I love Evie more than I ever thought possible, and she’s almost here and she’s going to be ours, Lou. That’s so incredible. I regretted sleeping together at first because I thought you hated me for it, and when I found out you were pregnant I was pretty much ready to jump off of a cliff. If I knew that you hated me for just sleeping with you, getting you pregnant was the worst nightmare I could imagine. But it’s not anymore, and I love you so goddamn much and that’s never going to change. You and Evie are my life and I want to spend every moment of it with you. I’ve been in love with you practically since we bumped into each other on campus. You’ve supported me through everything no matter what, and there’s no way I would be where I am now in my career without you,” Harry rushed.

Louis’s head was spinning, and he didn’t think he had ever been so nervous. He wanted to reach out and tell Harry that he felt the exact same way. Harry looked at Louis for a sign of approval, but Louis wasn’t emotionally stable enough to do anything except give a small nod. “I know it’s pretty early in our relationship to propose, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. So, this isn’t an engagement ring by any means, but it’s a… promise ring, more like? I know you’ve said that it’s utterly cheesy in the past, but I wanted to get you something. I mean, I still got you you’re birthday and Christmas presents, but still. You don’t have to say yes, but I wanted you to know that I’m in this for the long-haul, no matter how short our romantic relationship has been. I meant what I said by me wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re my best friend and the father of my child and I love you so much. And I’ve rambled for far too long now, but still. I love you so much,” Harry said. He brought out a small jewelry box and opened it, revealing a thick silver band. He took it out of the box and showed it to Louis. The band had a light texture to it, supposedly mimicking wood. Louis saw an engraving on the inside saying _1+1=3,_ remembering Harry’s first Instagram post that confirmed they were in a relationship, Niall having penned the phrase.

“I know the engraving is kind of cheesy, but I thought I should go all out. This whole damn idea is. The point is that this is a forever, yeah? If you want it.”

“Yeah, I want it. I want it so bad, Harry, god I love you,” Louis rambled. Harry leaned across the table to give him a kiss and gave him the ring box.

“I made it for when you’re not pregnant, because your fingers will shrink down a bit after having Evie. So you might not be able to wear it right now,” Harry explained. Louis knew his fingers had swelled a bit because of the baby weight, so he just looked at the ring and didn’t attempt to put it on.

“I love it,” Louis said. He loved Harry so goddamn much and Harry wanted this just as much as him. To have a baby with him, to be with him every moment possible. They were each other’s biggest supporters, each other’s best friends, and there was no circumstance in which that would change. If Louis had any doubts that they weren’t soulmates, they had all disappeared. He finally put the box away and smiled at Harry, hoping that Harry knew how much he loved him. God, he could burst from happiness. He couldn’t believe this was his life. “I have no idea how we can keep lying to my family after this, though. You probably shouldn’t practically say your vows at a restaurant and then expect me to act like we’re just friends when we get back home,” Louis joked.

“Well, it’s not like we’ve been very platonic lately. We’ve never been much for platonic things anyway, have we? Your mum already probably suspects something has changed, and Lottie has already asked if anything had changed between us. We’ll be able to tell them all tomorrow, though. Just one more day,” Harry smiled.

“I know. It’s not like we can’t, it’s just… weird. My mum’s going to kill me since I didn’t tell her right away. I haven’t even seen Anne since I got pregnant,” Louis admitted. He knew that Anne liked him, which he was glad for, but she had also been wary of his pregnancy. She was still supportive of the two of them – sending them a couple of books that she had found helpful during her pregnancies. Harry has sped through all of them, thanking his mother for everything. Louis was so grateful for her support, and he always would be. It still had to have been difficult on her side, hearing that her touring son had knocked up his best friend. Harry was no innocent angel by any means, but he had always been one to dream about his perfect future by getting married and then having a planned kid. That’s what everyone wanted, after all, and what every parent would want for their kid. Louis was kind of worried that Anne would somehow be angry at him for messing up Harry’s plans, since he knew Harry wanted his mother’s approval.

Louis and Gemma had already spoken several times since he had told Harry about his pregnancy, and she had been incredible. Gemma was good for talking to if you wanted to get your mind off things, since she would talk his ear off every time the talked. He didn’t mind, he loved to hear Gemma’s overly-dramatic stories and about the research she was doing even though he didn’t understand any of it. She wouldn’t try to lecture him about the decisions that he made or give him advice he knew he should take but never would. It was good.

Anne, however, was a completely different story.

“You shouldn’t be worried about that at all, Lou. She loves you and she’s getting her first grandbaby because of you, so there’s no possible way she could hate you. Besides, she wouldn’t have agreed to actually stay in your house for the holidays if she hated you. You’re already her son-in-law, practically, and I think she might love you more than me,” Harry tried.

“I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to love me more than you,” Louis said.

“I wish I could tell you how wrong you are, but I know you wouldn’t believe me.”

Louis gave him a small smile. “Shut up. It’s perfectly normal for someone to worry about things like this. It’s not like this baby was planned, for all I know she doesn’t want us to be together.”

“That’s complete bullshit, Louis. She’s known about my feelings for you since the start, I know that she wants us to be together. I’m pretty sure I would’ve broken her heart if we hadn’t ended up together. I would’ve totally broken my own, but. She loves you. Just because Evie wasn’t planned doesn’t means that she isn’t a blessing that everyone is happy to have. Because she is, and my mum thinks the absolute best of you and the baby. If there’s anyone who should be worried, it’s me. I was the one irresponsible enough to get you pregnant at the most inconvenient time ever. But so much good has come out of it.”

“I know. Let’s just drop it, yeah? I love you and the crème brulee still hasn’t been eaten,” Louis said, effectively ending their conversation. He wasn’t sure if what Harry said made him feel better or not. The two of them smiled and kissed once more to get their happy mood back, and ate the rich dessert.

They spent a couple of hours looking around at a few of the little shops by the restaurant. Both Louis and Harry picked up a couple of small gifts for their family, and Louis even saw a Doncaster Rovers jersey for a newborn, which he got without hesitation. They left the shopping village with more bags than they had expected to leave with, and went back to the house. No one was to be seen, and it was fairly late, so Louis assumed that everyone had retired for the night. He wholeheartedly agreed with them – he was exhausted. He and Harry stripped and got in their pajamas, cuddling next to each other to get as warm as possible in bed.

Harry had gotten in the habit of telling Evie about their day now that she could differentiate between Louis and Harry’s voice. He coddled Louis’s belly and kissed it, all while giving a recap of the day’s events and telling the baby how much he loved both her and Louis. Louis couldn’t wait to see him hold her for the first time, knowing that he would be the most amazing father ever. Louis passed out before Harry got done telling Evie about their day and eventually the three of them were close next to each other and sleeping peacefully.

…

The day before Louis’s birthday Jay went to go pick up Anne and Gemma, and brought them back looking happy and bundled up in coats and scarves.

In their first year of Uni, Harry’s family had been going on a trip during fall break. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t want to see his family he just didn’t really want to go on the trip (and he knew that he was going to miss Louis more than ever). Since Harry was planning on staying at Uni for the break while Louis was going back home, Louis invited Harry to come over and stay with his family for the week. It had been one of the best weeks of Louis’s life, and when he thought that his friendship with Harry would last forever. Harry got along immediately with his whole family. If Louis were to pinpoint the exact moment in which he fell in love with Harry (although he does every single day), it would be the moment where Harry was talking to Lottie and playing hiw younger sisters.

It was also a good week for both of their mother’s. Anne had briefly talked to Jay over the week to check in on Harry, mostly because she was paranoid that something would go wrong. They began talking more often and met up with each other several times when they both came to their sons’ dorms. They were obviously close enough for Harry’s family to spend the Christmas holidays with them, even if it was mostly because this would be their first one now they had a grandchild on the way. Louis was glad that he liked Anne immensely – Gemma would often talk about how much she disagreed with her boyfriend’s parents and he was glad he would never have to deal with something like that.

Harry’s family hugged Harry immediately, and then moved on to Louis, Jay, and the rest of the group. Louis was so glad that they were finally related by blood, just because he felt less guilty for being selfish wanting to spend all his time with Harry. They had gotten there just in time for dinner, Harry having made a large feast with the help of Louis, Lottie, and Fizzy in the kitchen. The two families sat down and ate, and Louis felt like everything was perfect. He loved everything that had gotten him to that point, to having two families that he loved dearly with the most amazing boyfriend ever and their baby on the way. He and Harry had planned on telling both their families that they were officially together.

Most of the talk was about the baby, since Anne had taken to questioning Louis about every decision he made. It wasn’t much to calm his nerves, but Harry smiled at him and he knew Anne was only meaning it in the best way possible. Every mother had a right to be protective of her son. They gave Anne and Gemma the sonograms they had gotten over the time they had known Louis was pregnant, showcasing Evie’s growth. Both people in Harry’s family were supportive of the name, so at least that was out of the way. While Anne and Gemma talked about how they were doing, Louis and Harry kept glancing over at each other during the meal, even though they were right next to each other. What could Louis say, being close to Harry was never enough. Not that he minded having either, but if he could have both he should take every chance he could to look at his super-hot boyfriend. They did that at every meal, but this one was special. Finally, Gemma finished her story and Harry spoke up before he would be cut off again.

“Umm, I was wondering if we could tell you guys something,” Harry began, trying not to be too obviously. He and Louis had their hands clasped together under the table, squeezing and knowing that they had each other to hold onto. Louis didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“Of course you can,” Jay said, looking at them suspiciously. Louis was pretty sure that his mother already knew their “secret,” but he was glad that they could confirm it for her.

“Well,” Louis said, trying to be as casual as possible, “Harry and I are officially together as boyfriends.”

The good news was that everyone was excited. The bad news was that he felt like nothing was different for anyone. And maybe it wasn’t different for them. It wasn’t even that different for him, the only thing that really changed between him and Harry was being exclusive and having regular sex. Their mothers smiled and congratulated them while Lottie teased them about not getting their shit together sooner. It was good and comfortable. They all were officially family now, tied together forever. Louis knew that he would show the promise ring to Jay after dinner, since he didn’t really want to show it off to the whole family.

It was everything, and Louis wouldn’t change it for the world.

…

Louis’s birthday was incredibly boring. Since he and Harry had already gone on their date, there wasn’t much else to do except have his birthday cake and open his birthday presents. The day went by fast and he was more excited that it was Christmas Eve than anything else, since he and Harry would be opening the gifts everyone had gotten for Evie. While he liked his own gifts it was much more fun both shopping for and receiving stuff for Evie. The day passed with Louis drinking far too much hot cocoa, cuddled into Harry by the fire with Christmas music playing in the background. The pair went to bed early, knowing that they would be getting up at arse o’clock in the morning with the younger children wanting to open their gifts.

The next morning was spent watching the kids open their presents and Louis shoveling his mum’s blueberry pancakes down his throat. He was positive Evie would have the same affinity for her grandmother’s cooking as he did. After the kids had finished opening all of their gifts, he watched the adults unwrap their gifts, including Harry opening his and Evie’s. Louis had gotten a few basic things – a much fancier laptop than his old one he has used in Uni, a nice watch, and a few books he had asked for. Harry had gotten some things to decorate their flat, a few clothing accessories and a few CDs and books. Evie had gotten a hoard of toys, blankets, cloths, and a couple of other items that Louis’s mother said were to best things ever.

Evie could obviously feel the excitement of Christmas since she was going through her tumbling routines inside him. Louis didn’t know if it was possible to be any happier.

He went to bed that night tired but happier than ever before, a beautiful boy spooning him and a little one only weeks from coming. Harry stroked his bump softly, getting Louis to relax after their long day.

“Did you like your gift?” Louis asked, being lulled to sleep with Harry beside him.

“Of course. But it can’t top my favorite gift.”

“Oh, really? And whatever would that be?” Louis teased.

“Hmm,” Harry mumbled, pressing his lips against Louis’s neck. “He’s a Christmas Miracle. And so is the baby we’re having together.”

“You two must be very happy together.”

“I would like to say so. He’s only the best and most beautiful boyfriend in the whole world, and it amazes me that he’s chosen me out of all the people in the world to be with.”

“I have to say that I think he thinks the same thing,” Louis giggled as Harry put soft kisses on Louis’s neck, going forward to his collarbones. Louis let Harry have the control that night – he knew that they weren’t going to be doing any activities that involved them getting naked, but he could still appreciate the feeling of Harry’s sucking on his collarbones. Eventually Harry left on last kiss, whispering to Louis how much he loved him and how Evie was the best gift he had ever gotten. Louis couldn’t agree more.

…

Harry and Louis eventually left Doncaster along with Anne and Gemma to spend New Year’s in Holmes Chapel. Louis got to meet Gemma’s boyfriend, who was one of Harry’s friends from the music industry that Louis had met several times before. While they had spent the past few days just by themselves, Anne had invited over “a few” of her colleagues and friends, which meant that there was a giant New Year’s Party that Louis was in the middle of. He didn’t mind, really, except that he was being toted off to wherever Harry was going since they were the stars of the show. Anne made her big announcement about her first grandbaby and everyone got to talk to Harry and Louis. Louis had met some of the people before, but most of them he had never seen. Harry, being the social butterfly he was, told Louis the ins and outs of who they were meeting and how they were connected to Harry’s family.

Soon it was close to midnight, and while everyone sat around by their significant others with their flutes of fancy champagne, Louis sat cuddled up into Harry’s chest with the sparkling juice that wasn’t near as good. The whole party waited for the clock to reach midnight, but there were still a good few minutes before that would happen. Several people were about to fall asleep, including Louis and Harry. Louis was glad that he wasn’t going to have to go home after midnight on New Year’s Day, instead being able to cuddle up with Harry in their cozy room.

Louis didn’t have any resolutions for the New Year. Nothing he wanted to change, really, except maybe his job but he didn’t think quitting his career qualified as a resolution. He should probably vow to exercise more once Evie was there, but he wanted to be realistic. It was just a new beginning for him more than anything. In only a couple of weeks he and Harry would have a baby to take care of. He was at that point that he wanted her out, of course, but more to meet her more than anything else. He wanted to see the little personality that she would have, what her eyes would look like and if she would get curly hair or not. He wanted to meet her, the little mixture of him and Harry. He wanted to feel what everyone else said they felt when they held their baby for the first time.

“Louis, babe, it’s almost midnight,” Harry whispered in his ear, trying not to startle him as he woke. Louis had dozed off in Harry’s lap with a warm blanket over him, cradling his bump and leaning his head against Harry’s shoulder. Louis wasn’t technically asleep, but Harry’s shoulder was much too warm and inviting for it to be legal.

“Hmm,” he mumbled, nuzzling further into Harry. Harry held him and stroked his baby bump lightly.

“Lou,” he tried again.

“I’m up, okay? How many minutes?”

“About 45 seconds.”

“Yeah?” Louis said, becoming more alert but still resting his head on Harry. “You gonna be my New Year’s kiss, Harold?”

“Of course. And hopefully I’ll be your New Year’s kiss next year, and the year after that, and the year after that…”

“Shut up you sappy bastard,” Louis said endearingly. Fuck, how was this his life now? Now it was only ten seconds until midnight, and everyone who was alert enough to do something started counting down from ten. Louis and Harry kept staring at each other, their lips barely apart. Five… four… three… two… one. Harry smashed his lips against Louis. The kiss was messy and Harry had barely missed practically hitting his nose, but it soon was softened and Harry’s lips only felt like warm pleasure against his own. Louis pressed back with more urgency and tangled his hands in Harry’s hair. Everyone around them cheered and they broke apart. Harry’s cheeks were a light pink and his mouth looked sinful, with his hair slightly disheveled. God, he looked perfect.

Harry lip’s upturned into a bright smile, kissing Louis’s cheek and his mouth once more.

“I love you so fucking much,” Louis said. He felt high, ecstasy coursing through his body and veins.

“I love you so fucking much, too. I love you. I love you,” Harry replied. They went into kiss again. Louis never wanted the moment to end, but he felt that way far too often when he was with Harry.

The rest of the night was spent cuddled on the couch. People had settled down and told some stories about their lives and families, and Louis felt comfortable. He felt at home, even though he wasn’t even near their flat or in Doncaster. He supposed that Harry was his home, though, and that it wasn’t a place. Louis loved being alive.

…

After spending New Year’s Day as a lazy day cuddling with Harry and spending time with his family, Robin was able to take his car and drop them back off in London. Louis felt like they were bringing in three times as much stuff as they had left for Christmas with, not that he minded. Most of it was for the baby, and Harry had already filled their flat with an abundance of toys, clothes, and other items for Evie that would last them for the next five years. Louis liked it though. Harry just wanted to be prepared, and it was endearing that he was getting so much stuff (even if they weren’t going to be using it for the next few years). Robin and Harry carried their stuff back up to the flat and Robin left with a hug goodbye, telling him that he would see them soon. They sorted through the many more items they had gotten from their families.

Louis couldn’t believe that Evie would be coming in only a couple of weeks. That was kind of the weird thing about scheduled C-sections. Others just had the surprise of their life by having their water break and naturally going through labor – unfortunately that wasn’t a possibility for Louis. It just felt odd to know exactly when his baby was going to come into the world, her birthday and the scheduled hour. The past months had been a giant countdown. He wanted to hold her so badly, to count each of her tiny fingers and toes, and to brush his fingers on her soft skin. He thought he wanted to see Harry do all of those things most of all.

The following weeks were extremely boring for Louis. Harry had been a blessing, of course, bringing him hot meals and blankets and setting up the heater when Louis asked. Still, the most Louis did was getting out of bed to shower. He and Harry cuddled on their bed watching reruns of their favorite shows, Louis falling asleep more often than not. His sleeping patterns had already been thrown off completely, and it was only going to get worse when Evie was actually there. So he took all the time he could to get as much rest with Harry beside him and Evie staying calm. The nights were spent with him tossing and turning, but thankfully Evie didn’t have enough room to do anything but toss and turn with him. Harry had to go into work sometimes, though, and Louis knew that he needed to get away every once in a while. He knew that Harry was the most supportive person ever and would do anything for him, but he knew he had to be just as tired as him with all the running around he did for Louis. Louis liked the alone time for a bit, too.

It turned out that part of what Harry had worked on while he was in the studio was a playlist for the baby (he clearly spent his time well). He came home bouncing with excitement, handing Louis over the fresh bread from the bakery Louis liked. He kissed Louis on the lips, and then went out of their bedroom without explanation. He came back in a split second, with the portable CD player he had when they were first in Uni and a set of headphones.

“I made a playlist for Evie,” He exclaimed, plugging the headset into the CD player and inserting the CD titled “To Evie, with love.” He knelt beside Louis and gave him a wide smile too. “I know we talk to her all the time, but I thought we should let her listen to music too. And before you say anything, I didn’t put any of my ‘hipster’ bullshit on it. It’s mostly acoustic and some of my own songs, of course.” Louis smiled at him and nodded for him to go ahead. Harry placed the headphones over his bump the best he could, making sure they were in place. He pressed the play button on the CD played and Louis could barely hear some soothing, soft music coming from them.

Louis smiled down at Harry who was softly rubbing his bump. They stayed like that for a few minutes in silence, Louis just watching Harry look at his bump like his whole world was in there. Well, it kind of was. Harry crawled up beside him in bed so he was next to him, still keeping a hand on his tummy.

“Do you think she’ll like music? My music?” Harry asked timidly. That was kind of a problem with Harry. He wanted to please everyone, and Louis could understand that. But he wasn’t going to please everyone no matter what he did, and that was including his music. Not every critic was going to give it 10 stars, but they might as damn well. Zayn wasn’t actually that big of a fan of Harry’s music – he understood the appeal and supported him in every possible way, but he still preferred to listen to other genres. Harry wanted everyone in his life to love his music as much as he did, to be proud of all that he had accomplished.

“Of course she will. There’s no possible way she wouldn’t, she is 100 percent you and me. She’s going to grow up hearing your music practically every day. I mean, how many kids can say that their dad is an award winning musician? And you’re rising every day. She’s going to be so proud of you,” Louis said.

“You think so? I want to make her so proud, Lou. You and her, and everyone else.”

“You are making her proud. You’re making me proud every day, and I love you so much. You’re able to go out there and inspire people with your music. That’s amazing.” Louis smiled at him and Harry gave him one back.

…

Louis was nervous, to say the least. He was sitting in the hospital room he and Harry would be using for the next week, Harry pressing Louis’s back against his chest and rubbing the bump that would be gone in only a few hours.

Holy shit. Why the fuck did Louis think this was a good idea? He was having a fucking baby, for Christ’s sake. There was no way that this would end up well. He was too young, and stupid, and he could barely take care of himself. How was he supposed to take care of a whole tiny helpless human being on top of it? Evie deserved so much better than him.

“Evie loves you so much, Lou. I love you so much. I’m so lucky and I can’t wait to meet her and this is the best moment of our life. We’re having a _baby._ That’s so incredible” Harry whispered in his ear. He kissed the back of Louis’s neck and Louis calmed down under his touch.

Harry was right. He could do this. They could do this, because they were in it together and they would always have each other. No parent is going to be perfect, but Louis was going to try his goddamn hardest. He loved Evie with every fiber of his being. They were prepared. They had their hospital bag with a dozen baby blankets along with the fuzziest onesie they could find. They had the formula they would be using, and their phone chargers, and Harry’s nice camera, and extra cash. They were ready. This was a planned thing. Maybe not the pregnancy, but they were ready for Evie to come. They had waited nine long months to meet her (even if Louis only knew about her for four of them).

The nurse came in and told Louis to get dressed in a hospital gown and then wait for his doctor to come in and check on him, where he would be prepared for  surgery and have his baby. The technician gave them one last look at their baby before she would be out in the world, and soon Louis was being wheeled into the operating room to be prepped.

…

Sometimes miracles happened. It felt weird, to have Evie literally being pulled out of him, but he made it nonetheless. Harry sat on a stool by his side the whole time, pressing small kisses to his hand and whispering how much he loved him. It didn’t take them long for them to hear Evie being there, crying and screaming. It was kind of terrifying, to be honest. They checked her over and cleaned her as quickly as possible, letting Harry cut the cord and holding her. He sat on the stool and brought her up to be beside Louis.

Louis had never been so amazed in his life. Their daughter was here. She was out in the world and she was absolutely perfect and she was theirs forever. Harry was a blubbering mess, telling Louis how proud he was and how much he loved him and Evie and every other sappy thing one could think of. Louis stayed silent, though. There was his daughter. The tiny thing he had carried around for nine months, that had caused him so much damn trouble and physical and emotional pain. But it all seemed to go away. She was there, and she was healthy. That was all that mattered.

The surgeons cleaned and stitched Louis up. They wheeled him back to their room and Louis got to hold her for real. He counted her fingers and toes (all there, no extras) and brushed his finger over her soft cheeks. It felt weird. At first she was some abstract concept. They knew she would be there eventually, of course, but now she was here. She was a tiny person with a light dusting of hair across her head, with a small button nose and bitty finger and toes to match. Louis loved her more than anything else.

The doctor declared her fully healthy, letting Louis and Harry spend as much time as they wanted with her. Louis had been right all along. There was nothing better than looking at Harry hold their daughter – his large hands framing her tiny body. Harry looked at Evie like she was all he ever needed, and Louis wanted to marry him.

“Harry,” Louis choked. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Who on earth proposed to their boyfriend of just over a month when they had their baby less than two hours ago? Louis, apparently. Harry looked and him and smiled, leaning over with Evie in his arms to press a kiss to Louis’s forehead.

“I love you so much. I can’t believe that we’re doing this. She’s the more precious thing I’ve ever seen, Lou. She’s so tiny. Oh, god. We’re parents,” Harry rambled. Louis couldn’t stop smiling. He was going crazy, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Harry?”

Harry took his eyes off of Evie for just a moment to look at Louis fondly. “Yes, love?”

Louis couldn’t breathe. All he felt was the overwhelming feeling of love for the most amazing human beings in the world. His soulmate and their child, this tiny human that he was going to take care of and love for as long as he lived. “Marry me,” Louis whispered.

Harry looked up from Evie in his arms, obviously confused. “What? What are talking about?”

“I… I want you to marry me. I want to spend every second of the rest of my life with you and know that nothing could ever separate us. I want to know that when I get home every day I’m going to see you and Evie. I want more kids, too, eventually. I want a life with you, and I want you to marry me. I love you,” Louis rambled. He didn’t know what to say, he hadn’t even thought of marriage even entering the equation until a few minutes ago. Sure, Harry had “proposed” to him a couple of days before Christmas, but it wasn’t a real proposal. It was a promise of something that would last forever, not a permanent gesture.

Harry’s expression didn’t look promising. Louis had thought Harry would have been happy, ecstatic even. It probably wasn’t the best time for a proposal, but there was something inside Louis that made him want to ask him. Made him want to try and show Harry how much he loved him, and for Harry to do the same for him. Harry’s eyebrows were knit together and his smile had been washed away. “Louis….”

Louis panicked. He had thought things were perfect with them. Louis had gained confidence in their relationship, and he wanted to be with Harry in every way possible. He thought that Harry would be the same way, but maybe he had misinterpreted things somehow? Harry wanted time to think about their relationship instead of rushing into things. Hell, they already had a baby together so maybe he thought it would be best to adjust to a romantic relationship before they jumped into marriage? It’s not like the thought had never crossed Louis’s mind (and what he had decided would be his course of action, until now). He wanted Harry to be comfortable. He still wanted to be married, because they practically were. The only thing they didn’t receive was tax benefits and Harry didn’t get as many custody rights if he and Louis were ever to split. It kind of scared Louis – the idea of them splitting. Not only for him, but for Evie. Even though he would never keep Harry from her it was a definite possibility if he wanted to.  And there was the almost impossible chance that Harry simply wouldn’t want to see Evie if they split up.

“You don’t have to say yes. I don’t even know what I was thinking, oh god….”

“Louis, that’s not what I meant at all. I just… you really want to get married? For real?”  Harry asked. He shifted Evie in his arms so Louis could see her sleeping, eyes closed peacefully. She was so perfect.

“Of course. More than anything. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and now that Evie’s here….” Louis trailed off. “So, yeah. I’m asking you to make me the happiest person on earth and marry me, Harry Styles.”

Harry smiled at him and lowered his head to Louis’s head. “A thousand times yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Ahh thank you for everyone who's stuck with me through all of this, and anyone who reads any future fics I've got planned out. A big thanks to people who have given a kudos, or any kind of comment (those really make my day :) ). You can follow me on tumblr at larrykisspers.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic in this fandom (and since 2012) so try not to be too harsh. Constructive critism always welcome. This will be updated weekly on Fridays, but hopefully this was a little something to brighten up your Monday! :) You can find my tumblr here: http://larrykisspers.tumblr.com/


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